Tag Archives: Yahoo Sports

Dear Mariners: It’s Not Me, It’s You

A few days ago, I wrote this article on your 2010 Seattle Mariners for Yahoo Sports’ Big League Stew. It’s basically a breakup letter written to our hometown nine, per an assignment from the BLS editors. It’s written in slightly-more-professional fashion than something you’d see on these pages, but still incorporates the exact same voice you’re used to hearing in these words.

Every now and then I try to incorporate some legitimate work into my repertoire of sophomoric prose. It’s not often that I do this, and in fact I turn down a lot more assignments than I actually accept. But as long as the editors of any external publication are more or less willing to give me free reign over the content of the article, I’m usually pretty game.

To be honest, I’m not entirely fond of selling out my product to other websites. I want to keep my articles here, for my readers. That, and I’m incredibly passionate about the written word. If I put something together, I don’t want to see it dissected for someone else’s benefit. There’s a method behind the madness in the writing. Every letter is where it is for a reason. That can be next-to-impossible for many people to understand, and I get that. I’m just not as willing to acquiesce as some people.

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Yahoo’s Jason King defies sanity in ranking Pac-10

Beware this man! He's an idiot!
Beware this man! He's an idiot!

Not that Yahoo Sports is considered a valuable resource for college basketball analysis or anything, but come on.  Come on, Jason King, you’re supposed to be an expert.  Instead, you look like a fool, with your back-asswards Pac-10 basketball rankings and an expectation that we’re supposed to trust you for insight.

I implore you to stop.  Just stop.  You’re not as smart as you give yourself credit for, and there’s no need to keep perpetuating flat-out wrongitude.

Who is Jason King, you ask?  Jason King is a Yahoo Sports college basketball “insider” (inside what, we may never know) that spends his time analyzing all of NCAA basketball.

First of all, asking someone to analyze all of NCAA basketball is like asking someone to sponge bath all of Bartolo Colon, or read all the works of Shakespeare.  It’s a humongous task that no one should be assigned on a sole basis.  But in these tough economic times, not only has Yahoo Sports entrusted one man to handle this job, they’ve entrusted Jason King, who happens to be an idiot.

Additionally, King hails from Kansas and attended Texas’ Baylor University, so his knowledge of West Coast basketball is right up there with my knowledge of nuclear physics.

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