Tag Archives: University of Oregon

30 Reasons To Hate The University Of Oregon

harringtonBecause everyone could use another reason to despise Whoregon.

30. Chip Kelly. What a smug bastard.

29. The mascot. Even he can’t stay out of trouble.

28. Steve Prefontaine. There was something not quite right about that malnourished hippie.

27. Mac Court. An ugly, disease-infested building.

26. Animal cruelty charges. Duck on duck violence. We make an example out of Michael Vick, but give these guys a free pass. That’s messed up.

25. Their plethora of draft busts. If you’re a fan of a pro sports franchise and your team drafts a Duck, you might as well mail in the next five years.

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Ernie Kent and the Greatest Dream EVER!

Ernie attempts to calm a riot incited by the chanting of his nickname, Ernesto.
Ernie attempts to calm a riot incited by the chanting of his nickname, Ernesto.

Woke up this morning remembering every detail of my dream in complete clarity. To call this the greatest dream ever is an understatement. At the very least, we need to refer to it with unnecessary capitalization of letters (EVER!).

So here’s the premise.

I’m stuck in Eugene, Oregon for whatever awful reason and find my way into a basketball arena where I’m quickly trapped along with about 20,000 or so other people.

Unbeknownst to everyone else (but beknownst to me, even though beknownst isn’t a word) we are here to be killed. Killed by none other than University of Oregon basketball coach/diabolical genius bent on world domination Ernie Kent.

Using Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford as a robot weapon of mass destruction, Kent has plotted to have us all murdered for his pure enjoyment (his motive is not made entirely clear to me, though at this point in my dream I’m in that “act first, ask question later” mode).

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Top 11: University of Oregon Pro Sports Busts

pitcrew1Disclaimer: This list is straight propaganda. If you’re a University of Oregon fan, you will absolutely hate it. If you’re an anti-Duck, it will probably bring a smile to your face. You’ve been warned.

Kick ’em while they’re up, that’s what I say. Just make sure if you’re gonna do it, you aim right for the testes.

No college athletics program is more up right now than the University of Oregon.

Their football team is everyone’s sexy pick to oust USC and win the Pac-10.

Their basketball team went as far as the Elite Eight just a few short years ago.

Their track program is one of the best in the nation.

And on top of all that, they just added a baseball team after more than two decades without one.

Yeah, I’d say the Ducks are flying high, which is why it’s time we bring them down a bit.

That’s why we’ve devoted an entire Top 11 to the pro sports busts who have emerged from the UO. It’s an impressive list, and one worthy of your time. If you hate Oregon, you’ll love this.

(For each entry, we have listed the player’s name, the league he was a part of, and the year he turned pro.)

11. Samie Parker, NFL, 2004

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