Season One, Episode Five of Saved By the Bell. Zack Morris’s best friend, Samuel “Screech” Powers, is feeling down. Zack wants to boost Screech’s ego so he agrees to set him up on a date with a girl named Bambi. The only problem? Bambi doesn’t exist.
Unwittingly ecstatic, Screech so strongly demands a rendezvous with his newfound love interest that Zack is forced to impersonate his feminine creation. After speaking with Screech by phone, Zack adorns himself in a purple dress, trendy spectacles, and a wig and meets his nerdy, smitten counterpart at everyone’s favorite hangout, The Max.
The girl is a figment of my imagination. She is one of three stunning coeds in an image uncovered after a quick Google search. I give her a name, a biography, a persona — she’s Samantha, a recent college graduate who loves sports and has a feisty, fun-loving attitude. She will become my social experiment. I will use her to experience life as an attractive female sports fan.
Continue reading Explaining the Manti Te’o Hoax Through “Saved By the Bell,” a Self-Created Fake Hot Chick Twitter Profile, and My Own Personal Life
Earlier this week, we found out that the University of Washington athletic department has imposed an interesting policy regarding sports and Twitter. Basically, media members reporting on any Husky basketball or football game are limited to the number of times they can tweet during a contest. Yep, it’s like that.
As a proud UW alum, I’ve been schooled on recognizing stupidity. And this is about as stupid as it gets.
Putting clamps on those giving you the time of day? Really? If there’s anything we all know, it’s that in America, the media cannot be controlled. You can’t stop the media, you can only hope to contain it. And yet trying to contain it usually doesn’t work out so well.
Knowing that this will undoubtedly spiral into an abyss of long-running jokes and never-ending punch lines, I figured I’d take the opportunity to ask my alma mater why on earth they’d want to censor their guests. I’ve come up with 11 questions. I was allotted no more than that.
Continue reading Top 11: Questions Regarding The University of Washington’s Incredibly Stupid Twitter Rule
I love Twitter. Which is also why I hate it so much. It’s like cocaine for media whores. Every time you think you can go a day, an hour, a minute without it, you start scratching your neck funny and you’re back on the rock before you know it. It’s absolutely dangerous.
There are any number of things I loathe about Twitter. Not so much the things we all know about already — like the fact that many athletes are uneducated morons, for one — but rather the things that have come to dictate our social behaviors as a result of 140-character status updates.
Take, for example, the fact that Twitter gives us a false sense of surrounding at all times. Think about it. If you’re alone or even feel for a second that you could be alone (ex. party wallflower syndrome), you can grab your phone and peruse your Twitter feed. You can tune out from the real world and tune into a universe that accepts you for the two or three sentences you, or others like you, might be able to cram into a text box. That’s a powerful distraction, one that rivals drugs and alcohol in its ability to divert the discomfort of a situation.
Continue reading Twitter: Our Drug of Choice
Whether you “get” Twitter or not, you’ll enjoy this.
This is a three-day glance at the Twitter account of one Derrick Williams (@bigdthatsme23), power forward for the University of Arizona (men’s) basketball team.
Beginning on Tuesday, January 18th, Williams began Tweeting smack talk towards the University of Washington in snippets of 140 characters or less.
By the evening of Thursday, January 20th, Williams had humbly devoured all of his characters (i.e. eaten his words) after the Huskies defeated the Wildcats by a score of 85-68.
Join us on this journey as we witness the progression of Williams’ epic fail.
Continue reading The Three-Day Progression of Derrick Williams’ Twitter Account
For the second time in the past few months, Walter Jones has announced his retirement. Via Twitter. And we don’t know if he’s telling the truth or not.
Why Jones would choose to announce that he has “come to the concussion it is time for me to retire from football” through an informal website is beyond me. The fact that a correction was posted a half hour later, replacing “concussion” with “conclusion” just goes to show how lame-o this whole Tweeting situation is becoming.
There are some guys out there who use Twitter to everyone’s advantage. Like Chad Ochocinco, for instance, who has, at various points in time, turned his account into a giveaway hotline or a source of neverending entertainment.
When he isn’t buying strangers movie tickets and handing them out through his account, Ochocinco can found dropping TwitPics such as this one, which was taken on Saturday from Miami.
You might not always agree with what Johnson tweets, but more often than not you’ll find yourself laughing, smirking, or smiling at his wit…brought to you in 140 characters or less, naturally.
Unfortunately for us, for every Ochocinco there are a handful of athletes who aren’t nearly as humorous, charitable, or entertaining.
Continue reading Twitter-Abuse Among Athletes Becoming All Too Prevalent
Open up the sports pages of either The Seattle Times or USA Today this morning, and you’ll find feature articles on the relationship between sports and Twitter, the social networking website that allows you to “tweet” short messages to friends, family, and followers regarding anything you happen to be doing at the moment.
Let me tell you something, and in telling you this I realize not everyone will agree with me, but Twitter sucks. It blows, in fact, and yes, sucks and blows are two opposing forces of nature, but whatever.
Twitter is the Macarena, it’s the Hula Hoop. A fad that has consumed the nation for no apparent reason whatsoever, save for the fact that every person who has bought into Tweeting (or “Twittering,” to some) is doing it because someone else they know did it before them. It’s a good idea because we want it to be a good idea, not because it actually is.
Continue reading Twitter sucks…because everyone else is discussing it