Tag Archives: Twitter

Top 11: Twitter Avatars and What They Say About You

twittereggYour Twitter avatar is more than just a picture on a page. It’s a reflection of who you are, and the first thing everyone sees when they come across your profile.

While it may seem like each avatar is unique, there are a number of different categories into which every photo  can fall. Today, we examine the meanings behind 11 of those categories.

What does your Twitter avatar say about you? Let’s find out.

11. The Celebrity

Key Indicator: 

The face of a famous person anyone with two eyes and a brain would recognize.


Hey, look, it’s not you. We know it’s not you because we’re pretty sure that’s Ryan Gosling, and you are definitely not Ryan Gosling. If you were Ryan Gosling, you’d likely have more than 74 followers and proudly display a blue-and-white checkmark next to your name. You can’t fool us, Not Ryan Gosling.

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Local Media Meltdowns: 1090-Percent of Your Ass Will Be Blocked

PrintOh god, Jason Churchill. What have you done?

What follows is a Twitter exchange between one Jason Churchill, radio sidekick on 1090 The Fan’s Steve Sandmeyer Show, and some poor guy named Troy Grant, who dares to ask Churchill a question. The conversation quickly devolves from a very peaceful Q-and-A to something resembling a scene out of The Breakfast Club. Before you can say “Dick Vernon,” Churchill goes rage monster on his haplessly unprepared victim. (Though it should be noted that Grant handles all of this like a seasoned pro.)

Before you read ahead, take two things to heart while perusing the dialogue.

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The Top 35 Twitter Personas We Love To Hate

mackdaddywonkaTwitter. A haven for self-aggrandizing mini-stories. A place for all of us to get together and meet without ever having to see an actual human being. For all the reasons we love Twitter, there are an equal number of reasons we hate it. The following 35 personas are the main contributors to our loathing.

35. The Mack Daddy

Sample tweet: “@HotGirl1 You look beautiful today ;)”

Forty-seven years of life has yielded no spawn for this man. E-Harmony has failed him, while Match.com sadly yielded no matches. He friend requested everybody on Facebook, but only 64 people reluctantly confirmed his acquaintanceship. The last time he had sex was during the Bush administration…Bush Senior, that is. With nowhere left to turn, The Mack Daddy has opted to spread his virtual seed on Twitter. The benefactors of his admiration? Every woman he deems beautiful. Maybe even you. Check your DMs, pretty lady…

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Embracing the Weirdness of Mariners Rants

eaadbdc12aa6711acdb1842a8983961aWhen I was a kid, I used to think I was the weird one. I imagine there’s a point in time when everyone sees themselves in that light. You figure that your peers are normal, adults are normal, everyone is normal but you. And when you grow up, you’re gonna be the one that stands out like a sore thumb because you’re so awkwardly different. Then one day you find yourself in your late-twenties and a lady in Zubaz and a head wrap doing lunges across the entire length of a gym floor runs smack dab into the weight you’re lifting in a tiny corner of the room that just happens to be along her path to health and wellness. Never mind the fact that there is a vast amount of floor space to utilize, or that lunges can be done in isolation without the need to traverse along a straight line forward. Never mind that you’ve quarantined yourself to an area no bigger than three-feet-by-three-feet or that this woman could have very easily stopped short of running into you. No, for some people weirdness is damn near inexplicable. I can’t explain why a run-down Erykah Badu lookalike collided with my personal space (as well as a barbell) when there was so much freakin’ space to be had, but it did occur and it was weird.

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Bad News, Everyone

trollsThis is not looking good. I’ve been feverishly checking my inbox and have yet to run across a 100-page manifesto on the failures of local sports journalists, a manifesto I was expecting to receive no later than today. Granted, there’s still a ton of time before Friday comes to a close, but the situation is grim, to say the least.

I don’t even know what to think right now. I’ve gone to all this trouble clearing 100 pages of online space right here on this site and now? Now I’m at a loss as to how I’ll fill that space if my columnist doesn’t come through.

You may be wondering how I came to be fortunate enough to be promised a 100-page manifesto in the first place. Great question.

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The Mariners and Their Trolls

trollsOver the past decade, the Mariners have been really, really, really good at spawning anger and dissent amongst their fan base. Really good. I can’t tell you how good they’ve been at this. To the credit of the affected population, rather than commit crimes or go on villainous rampages, fans have taken to the world wide web to voice their displeasure for the organization, because frankly, what else is this online environment good for, anyway?

You’d think that people would be relatively unified in their angst over a team that hasn’t been to the postseason in twelve years, but that’s not the case at all. So what if we all agree that the team sucks? Some people out there don’t agree enough. Some people out there show signs of occasional optimism, others show too much pessimism, some aren’t as critical as we’d like them to be, others are far too critical. We can agree that the Mariners are bad, but we can’t agree on the way in which we all agree about that very thing we originally agreed upon. If this sounds ridiculous, that’s because it is.

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Chris Clemons + Twitter + Equality = One Giant Mess

chrisclemonsOn average, it doesn’t behoove professional athletes to wax poetic on political and social issues without a good deal of information to back up any statements they may make. While some athletes can hold court on divisive, non-sports-related topics, those rare birds are few and far between. Suffice it to say that Seahawks defensive end Chris Clemons is not one of those rare birds.

On Tuesday afternoon, Clemons started a bit of a firestorm on Twitter with the following tweet:

The discussion didn’t end there, however.

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Explaining the Manti Te’o Hoax Through “Saved By the Bell,” a Self-Created Fake Hot Chick Twitter Profile, and My Own Personal Life

zackbambiSeason One, Episode Five of Saved By the Bell. Zack Morris’s best friend, Samuel “Screech” Powers, is feeling down. Zack wants to boost Screech’s ego so he agrees to set him up on a date with a girl named Bambi. The only problem? Bambi doesn’t exist.

Unwittingly ecstatic, Screech so strongly demands a rendezvous with his newfound love interest that Zack is forced to impersonate his feminine creation. After speaking with Screech by phone, Zack adorns himself in a purple dress, trendy spectacles, and a wig and meets his nerdy, smitten counterpart at everyone’s favorite hangout, The Max.


The girl is a figment of my imagination. She is one of three stunning coeds in an image uncovered after a quick Google search. I give her a name, a biography, a persona — she’s Samantha, a recent college graduate who loves sports and has a feisty, fun-loving attitude. She will become my social experiment. I will use her to experience life as an attractive female sports fan.

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Top 11: Questions Regarding The University of Washington’s Incredibly Stupid Twitter Rule

Earlier this week, we found out that the University of Washington athletic department has imposed an interesting policy regarding sports and Twitter. Basically, media members reporting on any Husky basketball or football game are limited to the number of times they can tweet during a contest. Yep, it’s like that.

As a proud UW alum, I’ve been schooled on recognizing stupidity. And this is about as stupid as it gets.

Putting clamps on those giving you the time of day? Really? If there’s anything we all know, it’s that in America, the media cannot be controlled. You can’t stop the media, you can only hope to contain it. And yet trying to contain it usually doesn’t work out so well.

Knowing that this will undoubtedly spiral into an abyss of long-running jokes and never-ending punch lines, I figured I’d take the opportunity to ask my alma mater why on earth they’d want to censor their guests. I’ve come up with 11 questions. I was allotted no more than that.

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Twitter: Our Drug of Choice

I love Twitter. Which is also why I hate it so much. It’s like cocaine for media whores. Every time you think you can go a day, an hour, a minute without it, you start scratching your neck funny and you’re back on the rock before you know it. It’s absolutely dangerous.

There are any number of things I loathe about Twitter. Not so much the things we all know about already — like the fact that many athletes are uneducated morons, for one — but rather the things that have come to dictate our social behaviors as a result of 140-character status updates.

Take, for example, the fact that Twitter gives us a false sense of surrounding at all times. Think about it. If you’re alone or even feel for a second that you could be alone (ex. party wallflower syndrome), you can grab your phone and peruse your Twitter feed. You can tune out from the real world and tune into a universe that accepts you for the two or three sentences you, or others like you, might be able to cram into a text box. That’s a powerful distraction, one that rivals drugs and alcohol in its ability to divert the discomfort of a situation.

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The Three-Day Progression of Derrick Williams’ Twitter Account

Whether you “get” Twitter or not, you’ll enjoy this.

This is a three-day glance at the Twitter account of one Derrick Williams (@bigdthatsme23), power forward for the University of Arizona (men’s) basketball team.

Beginning on Tuesday, January 18th, Williams began Tweeting smack talk towards the University of  Washington in snippets of 140 characters or less.

By the evening of Thursday, January 20th, Williams had humbly devoured all of his characters (i.e. eaten his words) after the Huskies defeated the Wildcats by a score of 85-68.

Join us on this journey as we witness the progression of Williams’ epic fail.

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Twitter-Abuse Among Athletes Becoming All Too Prevalent

For the second time in the past few months, Walter Jones has announced his retirement. Via Twitter. And we don’t know if he’s telling the truth or not.

Why Jones would choose to announce that he has “come to the concussion it is time for me to retire from football” through an informal website is beyond me. The fact that a correction was posted a half hour later, replacing “concussion” with “conclusion” just goes to show how lame-o this whole Tweeting situation is becoming.

There are some guys out there who use Twitter to everyone’s advantage. Like Chad Ochocinco, for instance, who has, at various points in time, turned his account into a giveaway hotline or a source of neverending entertainment.

When he isn’t buying strangers movie tickets and handing them out through his account, Ochocinco can found dropping TwitPics such as this one, which was taken on Saturday from Miami.

You might not always agree with what Johnson tweets, but more often than not you’ll find yourself laughing, smirking, or smiling at his wit…brought to you in 140 characters or less, naturally.

Unfortunately for us, for every Ochocinco there are a handful of athletes who aren’t nearly as humorous, charitable, or entertaining.

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Twitter sucks…because everyone else is discussing it

twitterOpen up the sports pages of either The Seattle Times or USA Today this morning, and you’ll find feature articles on the relationship between sports and Twitter, the social networking website that allows you to “tweet” short messages to friends, family, and followers regarding anything you happen to be doing at the moment.

Let me tell you something, and in telling you this I realize not everyone will agree with me, but Twitter sucks. It blows, in fact, and yes, sucks and blows are two opposing forces of nature, but whatever.

Twitter is the Macarena, it’s the Hula Hoop. A fad that has consumed the nation for no apparent reason whatsoever, save for the fact that every person who has bought into Tweeting (or “Twittering,” to some) is doing it because someone else they know did it before them. It’s a good idea because we want it to be a good idea, not because it actually is.

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