Your Twitter avatar is more than just a picture on a page. It’s a reflection of who you are, and the first thing everyone sees when they come across your profile.
While it may seem like each avatar is unique, there are a number of different categories into which every photo can fall. Today, we examine the meanings behind 11 of those categories.
What does your Twitter avatar say about you? Let’s find out.
11. The Celebrity
The face of a famous person anyone with two eyes and a brain would recognize.
Hey, look, it’s not you. We know it’s not you because we’re pretty sure that’s Ryan Gosling, and you are definitely not Ryan Gosling. If you were Ryan Gosling, you’d likely have more than 74 followers and proudly display a blue-and-white checkmark next to your name. You can’t fool us, Not Ryan Gosling.
Continue reading Top 11: Twitter Avatars and What They Say About You
Oh god, Jason Churchill. What have you done?
What follows is a Twitter exchange between one Jason Churchill, radio sidekick on 1090 The Fan’s Steve Sandmeyer Show, and some poor guy named Troy Grant, who dares to ask Churchill a question. The conversation quickly devolves from a very peaceful Q-and-A to something resembling a scene out of The Breakfast Club. Before you can say “Dick Vernon,” Churchill goes rage monster on his haplessly unprepared victim. (Though it should be noted that Grant handles all of this like a seasoned pro.)
Before you read ahead, take two things to heart while perusing the dialogue.
Continue reading Local Media Meltdowns: 1090-Percent of Your Ass Will Be Blocked
Twitter. A haven for self-aggrandizing mini-stories. A place for all of us to get together and meet without ever having to see an actual human being. For all the reasons we love Twitter, there are an equal number of reasons we hate it. The following 35 personas are the main contributors to our loathing.
35. The Mack Daddy
Sample tweet: “@HotGirl1 You look beautiful today ;)”
Forty-seven years of life has yielded no spawn for this man. E-Harmony has failed him, while Match.com sadly yielded no matches. He friend requested everybody on Facebook, but only 64 people reluctantly confirmed his acquaintanceship. The last time he had sex was during the Bush administration…Bush Senior, that is. With nowhere left to turn, The Mack Daddy has opted to spread his virtual seed on Twitter. The benefactors of his admiration? Every woman he deems beautiful. Maybe even you. Check your DMs, pretty lady…
Continue reading The Top 35 Twitter Personas We Love To Hate
When I was a kid, I used to think I was the weird one. I imagine there’s a point in time when everyone sees themselves in that light. You figure that your peers are normal, adults are normal, everyone is normal but you. And when you grow up, you’re gonna be the one that stands out like a sore thumb because you’re so awkwardly different. Then one day you find yourself in your late-twenties and a lady in Zubaz and a head wrap doing lunges across the entire length of a gym floor runs smack dab into the weight you’re lifting in a tiny corner of the room that just happens to be along her path to health and wellness. Never mind the fact that there is a vast amount of floor space to utilize, or that lunges can be done in isolation without the need to traverse along a straight line forward. Never mind that you’ve quarantined yourself to an area no bigger than three-feet-by-three-feet or that this woman could have very easily stopped short of running into you. No, for some people weirdness is damn near inexplicable. I can’t explain why a run-down Erykah Badu lookalike collided with my personal space (as well as a barbell) when there was so much freakin’ space to be had, but it did occur and it was weird.
Continue reading Embracing the Weirdness of Mariners Rants
This is not looking good. I’ve been feverishly checking my inbox and have yet to run across a 100-page manifesto on the failures of local sports journalists, a manifesto I was expecting to receive no later than today. Granted, there’s still a ton of time before Friday comes to a close, but the situation is grim, to say the least.
I don’t even know what to think right now. I’ve gone to all this trouble clearing 100 pages of online space right here on this site and now? Now I’m at a loss as to how I’ll fill that space if my columnist doesn’t come through.
You may be wondering how I came to be fortunate enough to be promised a 100-page manifesto in the first place. Great question.
Continue reading Bad News, Everyone
Over the past decade, the Mariners have been really, really, really good at spawning anger and dissent amongst their fan base. Really good. I can’t tell you how good they’ve been at this. To the credit of the affected population, rather than commit crimes or go on villainous rampages, fans have taken to the world wide web to voice their displeasure for the organization, because frankly, what else is this online environment good for, anyway?
You’d think that people would be relatively unified in their angst over a team that hasn’t been to the postseason in twelve years, but that’s not the case at all. So what if we all agree that the team sucks? Some people out there don’t agree enough. Some people out there show signs of occasional optimism, others show too much pessimism, some aren’t as critical as we’d like them to be, others are far too critical. We can agree that the Mariners are bad, but we can’t agree on the way in which we all agree about that very thing we originally agreed upon. If this sounds ridiculous, that’s because it is.
Continue reading The Mariners and Their Trolls
On average, it doesn’t behoove professional athletes to wax poetic on political and social issues without a good deal of information to back up any statements they may make. While some athletes can hold court on divisive, non-sports-related topics, those rare birds are few and far between. Suffice it to say that Seahawks defensive end Chris Clemons is not one of those rare birds.
On Tuesday afternoon, Clemons started a bit of a firestorm on Twitter with the following tweet:
The discussion didn’t end there, however.
Continue reading Chris Clemons + Twitter + Equality = One Giant Mess