Tag Archives: Tim Lincecum

Pot Should Be Legalized In Honor Of Lincecum

tim-lincecum-ap2
Funny, he doesn't look like a stoner...

Tim Lincecum got busted for marijuana possession. Big deal. At least he didn’t hurt anyone. Kill anyone. Cheat the game.

On top of that, the San Francisco Giants ace and Renton, Wash. native wasn’t even under the influence when he was caught.

He just committed a slight faux pas. Had his pipe sitting out during a routine traffic stop. Whoops. We’ve all been there. Not necessarily with marijuana. But other stuff.

Maybe your porn collection was discovered.

Maybe you told a fib to get out of going to the opera, then got found out.

Maybe you cheated your diet, got caught with your pants down, or let slip a four-letter word in front of your mom. We all make mistakes. We’re human.

Fact is, I’m cool with Lincecum smoking a doobie every once in a while. I don’t smoke myself, but I absolutely condone the use of marijuana by others. It doesn’t bother me. Smoking pot then getting behind the wheel bugs me a little bit. But smoking in and of itself is no big deal. Falls right in line with alcohol consumption and frivolous sex. It fails to register on my moral code.

Think about it. How many potheads do you know that have caused serious problems in our world? You never hear about a pothead committing a heinous act against society. You don’t see potheads holding up banks, kidnapping children, or murdering anyone. Crackheads, maybe. Needle junkies, maybe. Potheads, no.

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Chronicling Tim Lincecum’s Unprecedented Rise From Renton’s Prep Ranks

timlincecumBack in 2001, the city of Seattle hosted the MLB All-Star Game at two-year-old Safeco Field. The starting pitchers that day were Randy Johnson for the National League and Roger Clemens for the American League. The game also marked the final All-Star appearances for future Hall of Famers Cal Ripken, Jr. and Tony Gwynn.

The AL would ultimately win the contest by a score of 4-1, but it was really the collection of story lines that made this game a memorable one. There was Ripken’s home run and MVP selection, Tommy Lasorda’s comedic flop in the third base coach’s box, and the presence of eight Seattle Mariners on the American League roster, just to name three.

But only 20 miles away, a different story line was taking shape.

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Top 11: All-Laminated List Team

We could have called this the “Top 11: Athletes You’d Let Your Significant Other Sleep With” but the heading was too long, and not exactly catchy. So we cut some words, came up with a creative title, and boom, you have your All-Laminated List Team. The Laminated List, as many of you I’m sure are aware, is a compilation of people (usually celebrities) who your average man or woman could fornicate with, without any repercussions whatsoever, regardless of a prior, binding relationship.

What we’ve decided to do is count down 11 athletes who are worthy of your wife’s or girlfriend’s lists. Guys who you would have no qualms about turning your lady over to for an evening. The only condition we’ve installed is that these athletes be current, active players in either the college or professional ranks (so no Michael Jordan, for instance). Without further ado, onto the list.

Mad-Dog woos the ladies.
Mad-Dog woos the ladies.

11. Mark Madsen, Forward, NBA, Minnesota Timberwolves.

Vital stats: 6’9″, 255 lbs, 33 years old, 0.3 PPG (’08-’09), 1.1 RPG (’08-’09).

Reason you’re cool with him boning your lady: There is no harder worker in the NBA than Mad-Dog. You know–and I mean, you really effing know–that if he gets your lady into bed, he’s going to give her 110% maximum effort before he calls it quits. No player on this list will treat your girl better, and when he’s done with the one-night stand, he’ll gladly return Ms. Right back to your waiting arms exactly as he found her.

Reason he’d make her list: Madsen is a Stanford alum, so he’s pretty intelligent. Plus he’s got the intensity that a passionate woman could appreciate.

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