Tag Archives: The Seattle Times

Paper’s Petty Personal Vendetta Impeding SoDo Arena

occidental

For years, The Seattle Times and its editorial board have held a personal vendetta against Chris Hansen and his proposed Seattle arena.

Through the use of one-sided attacks on a plot of land owned by Hansen in an area ripe for infrastructural rejuvenation, to the scribing of non-sequitur op-eds on supposed “alternatives” to the SoDo project meant to distract and deceive, the Times has employed nearly every unethical tactic imaginable in an attempt to block the construction of a venue intended for multipurpose civic use.

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Breakdown Breakdown: Dissecting Video of Bob & Jenks

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Special thanks to The Seattle Times for posting video of our special friends, Bob Condotta and Jayson Jenks, Seahawks beat writers. We’ll periodically review their video breakdowns and provide analysis here. We call it “Breakdown Breakdown.” Enjoy.

0:00 – Bob and Jenks come to you live from a wetland.

0:07 – Jenks doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He’s also holding the mic weird. It’s not a salad fork. You can grab that thing like you mean it.

0:12 – Bob enters the conversation at 12 seconds. He’s the most 12.

Also, he dressed up for this and I’m not sure you people appreciate that enough. He’s sans hoodie, for one thing. What if it rains? Bob is willing to go hoodless and put his hair at risk for the good of this video. He’s usually clothed in weather-adaptable attire, but not today. Today he’s adorned in a charcoal sweater straight from Mossimo’s 1999 boy band music video collection. I own a similar sweater and, when paired with a spritz of PoloSport, it can be quite the aphrodisiac for thirty-somethings.

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Athletic Supporters Send Jerry Brewer to Bullets

shvxAs the owner, general manager, and sometimes point guard of a rec team of increasingly unathletic amateur basketball players, I’m here today to formally announce the sad news of the departure of a fellow Athletic Supporter teammate of mine.

Jerry Brewer, who supplemented his time as a power shooting center by moonlighting as a columnist for The Seattle Times, has been dealt to the Washington (D.C.) Bullets, ending his tenure with the Supporters. The move will subsequently necessitate a career change for Brewer, who will be leaving the Times for a similar position at The Washington Post.

In his time with the Supporters, Brewer emerged as a favorite of the team’s five or six fans. Recognized for his matching green warmup suits, as well as his inability to corral wayward behind-the-back passes from guard Ryan Divish, Brewer etched himself into rec league lore by successfully bringing back the spectacle sport strap, not seen since Kurt Rambis last played in the NBA.

Brewer may best be remembered in Seattle for his time spent off the court, however.

Occasionally penning stories that geriatrics loved to forward via “the internet mail” to their grandkids, Brew established himself as one of the most respected voices of the sports fan in the Pacific Northwest.

When he wasn’t waxing poetic about athletics for the Times, Brewer seized the opportunity to start a family, seducing a woman, marrying her, spawning a son, and even adopting a kitten. He also made time for his buddies, often showing up to local watering holes in crisp sport coats while everyone else donned tattered t-shirts and worn jeans.

For this scribe, at least, Brewer will be remembered as a friend and confidant who helped foster an ability to piece words together in a captivating way. While anyone can write, Brew would devote entire afternoons to sitting at a bar, discussing life, and inspiring the ideas that materialized into print for a twenty-something lazy-ass. That he once triumphantly captained a mission to get that same lazy-ass to 1,000 followers on Twitter will never be forgotten, either.

As our pal departs for the other Washington, we remember karaoke renditions of Gin and Juice, a knack for incorrectly spelling words that describe acts of human nature, and that one time a whiny kid on an opposing team threw a basketball at Brewer for reasons unknown.

Jerry, no matter what all the internet haters say, we don’t think you’re weird at all. In fact, we’ll miss you. And we wish you well as you depart your adoptive home for a new adventure.

In exchange for Brewer, the Bullets will send 48-year-old forward/center Pervis Ellison, who averaged 20 points and 11 rebounds in the 1991-1992 season, to Seattle.

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Around Geoff Baker: Feb. 16, 2011

Hi. I’m Alex Akita from Seattle Sportsnet, and I’d like to welcome you to a new segment that we hope becomes a regular feature here on the site entitled “Around Geoff Baker.”

As you may know, Geoff is the Mariners beat writer for The Seattle Times. You can read his work here. Geoff recently started a new video segment on his blog entitled “Around The Blogosphere,” in which he comments on relevant articles on local blogs and websites.

To show Geoff that the blogosphere cares as much for him as he does about us, we’re bringing you a daily look at the man himself. When he posts ATB, we’ll post AGB. It’s that simple. Join us for all the fun.

Click here for today’s “Around The Blogosphere” video.

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Creative Inspiration

It’s Super Bowl Sunday, but you don’t want to read about the Super Bowl. Reading about the Super Bowl is boring, and frankly I’m not here to bore you. Let me rephrase that. I’m not here to intentionally bore you. I’m sure it happens accidentally quite often.

Because we’ve all agreed that reading about the Super Bowl sucks (I’m assuming you’re in agreement if you’re still reading), and because there’s really nothing else to talk about (there really isn’t), I wanted to take a minute to list out some of the writers who have influenced the meandering ramblings that you so often read on these pages. To those individuals I’m about to name, I’m sorry. Knowing that you have helped shape me in some form or fashion must be absolutely heartbreaking. My parents are available for counseling if you need to air your grievances or discuss coping mechanisms.

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Because I Love The Seattle Times And Hate Stage Parents

There are a lot of idiots out there. Most of them tend to send hate mail to The Seattle Times sports department.

I used to be employed by the Times, and let me just say that it’s one of the best places to work in the entire world. It really is. Face it, there are few jobs we leave behind that we can still speak well of, but I’d go to the ends of the earth to defend the Times’ sports department because it really means that much to me. Part of that has to do with the personnel, my former colleagues in the industry. On top of being knowledgeable sports fans, the folks I worked with in that building were flat-out good people. I can’t say a bad word about any of them. Which is entirely the reason I dedicate this rant to my ex-coworkers, and apologize in advance if any of my readers get upset and start asking you guys questions.

With that said, let’s get on with the show. You’ll like this. I promise.

Stage parents. The epitome of evil. They love their kids so damn much that they’re willing to f**k with everybody else to get what’s best for their son or daughter. If only we could learn to appreciate that without hating them. But we can’t. And frankly, they wouldn’t care if we could. Because they’re crazy and also delusional, which makes for a dangerous combination. So instead, we make light of their intense battle with sanity in half-witted articles like this.

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