An earth-scorching on a veiled attempt at charity, a potentially staged demise, a revolutionary basketball player, and one epic fall from our beloved Slickhawk. Plus a bevy of grumpiness and a transcendent This Week in ’90s History.
It’s all here in the 21st installment of Karate Emergency!
We could have called this the “Top 11: Athletes You’d Let Your Significant Other Sleep With” but the heading was too long, and not exactly catchy. So we cut some words, came up with a creative title, and boom, you have your All-Laminated List Team. The Laminated List, as many of you I’m sure are aware, is a compilation of people (usually celebrities) who your average man or woman could fornicate with, without any repercussions whatsoever, regardless of a prior, binding relationship.
What we’ve decided to do is count down 11 athletes who are worthy of your wife’s or girlfriend’s lists. Guys who you would have no qualms about turning your lady over to for an evening. The only condition we’ve installed is that these athletes be current, active players in either the college or professional ranks (so no Michael Jordan, for instance). Without further ado, onto the list.
11. Mark Madsen, Forward, NBA, Minnesota Timberwolves.
Reason you’re cool with him boning your lady: There is no harder worker in the NBA than Mad-Dog. You know–and I mean, you really effing know–that if he gets your lady into bed, he’s going to give her 110% maximum effort before he calls it quits. No player on this list will treat your girl better, and when he’s done with the one-night stand, he’ll gladly return Ms. Right back to your waiting arms exactly as he found her.
Reason he’d make her list: Madsen is a Stanford alum, so he’s pretty intelligent. Plus he’s got the intensity that a passionate woman could appreciate.