Tag Archives: Starbucks

Source: Howard Schultz Responsible For LenDale White’s Demise

Is Howard Schultz, coffee magnate and former Sonics owner, responsible for the release of ex-Seahawks running back LenDale White? Some people say yes, he is.

One individual close to the situation — a small-business entrepreneur by the name of Bob A. Fett — has revealed to Seattle Sportsnet that it was Schultz who provided White with the drugs he is now rumored to have ingested, thus leading to his departure on Friday from the Seahawks organization. Fett, a self-proclaimed giant of the head-hunting industry, speaks no English. He communicated this information to us through a translator fluent in Fett’s native language of Mandalorian.

Though it remains unclear why a man who has caused so much harm to the city of Seattle would begin attacking local athletes, we can only speculate that Schultz is attempting to cover up the bad P.R. of a recent promotional stunt gone horribly awry.

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Starbucks Censors Sonics Fans

Over the past couple weeks, Starbucks has been promoting a “We Love You Seattle” giveaway campaign on Facebook in which customers can enter any Seattle-area Starbucks location during specified times and days and get free tickets to local events. Last week, the Seattle-based company gave away Mariners tickets. This week it was passes to the Seattle International Film Festival.

What should have been a good-spirited promotion for Howard Schultz’s coffee company got ugly in recent days as the event page turned into a forum for Sonics fans to vent their frustrations. For those of you who aren’t aware, the now-defunct Sonics were once property of Schultz, who ultimately sold the team up the river to Oklahoma millionaire Clay Bennett, who then made off with his property to Oklahoma City. While fans would relish the chance to kick Bennett squarely in the gonads, they’d just as soon take a shot at Schultz’s balls if given the opportunity.

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