Tag Archives: Saved By The Bell

Around the Videosphere – Episode 1: Saved By the Bell-ish

slaterA couple years ago we introduced a segment on the site entitled Around Geoff Baker, a semi-regular column that profiled the video stylings of The Seattle Times’ Mariners beat writer. Geoff had a knack for recording himself doing all sorts of things, including one feature he called Around the Blogosphere. Our counter to ATB was an in-depth look at everything around Geoff in his videos. It was fun, mostly because Geoff is a fun guy to dissect. But the fun was short-lived, as Geoff’s video postings became less and less frequent and AGB died a slow death.

On Thursday, we found out that Geoff was being promoted off the Mariners beat to a role that combines investigate reporting with a look at sports business. First off, congrats to Geoff! Second, we hope this new role brings with it lots of video recordings. And third, this wonderful news prompted a look back at Around Geoff Baker, which in turn inspired us to rekindle a video-related column on the site.

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Why National Letter of Intent Day is the Stupidest Day of the Year

saved-by-the-bell-wrestling-with-the-futureThere’s a very poignant moment at the outset of Season 4, Episode 10 of Saved By the Bell, an episode entitled Wrestling with the Future. The moment harkens back to a simpler time, when the college recruiting process wasn’t nearly as shady, complicated, overblown, or commercialized as it is now. It recalls an era that existed prior to the ESPNs of the world smearing their greasy fingerprints all over the one day of the year that teenagers sign the remainder of their adolescence over to a university and an athletics program, that lived before those same teenagers would sit under the lights of a crowded gymnasium and select baseball caps off a table.

It is in this moment in that particular episode of television’s greatest and most influential program (ever, in history) that the following occurs:

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Explaining the Manti Te’o Hoax Through “Saved By the Bell,” a Self-Created Fake Hot Chick Twitter Profile, and My Own Personal Life

zackbambiSeason One, Episode Five of Saved By the Bell. Zack Morris’s best friend, Samuel “Screech” Powers, is feeling down. Zack wants to boost Screech’s ego so he agrees to set him up on a date with a girl named Bambi. The only problem? Bambi doesn’t exist.

Unwittingly ecstatic, Screech so strongly demands a rendezvous with his newfound love interest that Zack is forced to impersonate his feminine creation. After speaking with Screech by phone, Zack adorns himself in a purple dress, trendy spectacles, and a wig and meets his nerdy, smitten counterpart at everyone’s favorite hangout, The Max.

***

The girl is a figment of my imagination. She is one of three stunning coeds in an image uncovered after a quick Google search. I give her a name, a biography, a persona — she’s Samantha, a recent college graduate who loves sports and has a feisty, fun-loving attitude. She will become my social experiment. I will use her to experience life as an attractive female sports fan.

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The Seahawks’ Quest for Justice

Life isn’t always fair. Take that photo to the left, for example. That’s a stock image of Kelly Kapowski, the prettiest girl at Bayside High School, as played by Tiffani Amber Thiessen. The picture? It was taken right around the second season of the perpetually iconic Saved By the Bell, when Kelly was a sophomore…and Thiessen, in real life, was 16 years of age. Seriously. Sixteen. Look at that picture. Think about that age. How messed up is that? Like I said, life isn’t always fair.

Much like all you horndogs who now find yourself reluctantly longing for a barely-legal (in this state, at least) Tiffani Amber Thiessen, fairness and life aren’t exactly aligning themselves for your Seattle Seahawks, either.

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How “Saved By The Bell” Has Impacted My Life

Because life wouldn’t be the same without Saved by the Bell.

SBTB on romance

First of all, we give Zack Morris too much credit. Way too much. We can all agree that the man was an absolute player. If you had a vagina, he wanted to be near it. If you had breasts, he wanted to talk to you.

Throughout the course of his high school existence, Morris dated, kissed, or tried to hook up with the following cast of characters: a paraplegic, a homeless woman, an obese gossip who didn’t “look like Elle McPherson,” the captain of the cheerleading squad, his best friend’s girl, his other best friend’s little sister, his other best friend’s ex from out of the country, the school nurse, a biker chick, his girlfriend’s little sister, his immediate superior at the Malibu Sands Beach Club, a wrestler, his best friend’s adopted cousin, the school bully, a chick from USC, and a mom in Hawaii.

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