This is not looking good. I’ve been feverishly checking my inbox and have yet to run across a 100-page manifesto on the failures of local sports journalists, a manifesto I was expecting to receive no later than today. Granted, there’s still a ton of time before Friday comes to a close, but the situation is grim, to say the least.
I don’t even know what to think right now. I’ve gone to all this trouble clearing 100 pages of online space right here on this site and now? Now I’m at a loss as to how I’ll fill that space if my columnist doesn’t come through.
You may be wondering how I came to be fortunate enough to be promised a 100-page manifesto in the first place. Great question.
Continue reading Bad News, Everyone
Over the past decade, the Mariners have been really, really, really good at spawning anger and dissent amongst their fan base. Really good. I can’t tell you how good they’ve been at this. To the credit of the affected population, rather than commit crimes or go on villainous rampages, fans have taken to the world wide web to voice their displeasure for the organization, because frankly, what else is this online environment good for, anyway?
You’d think that people would be relatively unified in their angst over a team that hasn’t been to the postseason in twelve years, but that’s not the case at all. So what if we all agree that the team sucks? Some people out there don’t agree enough. Some people out there show signs of occasional optimism, others show too much pessimism, some aren’t as critical as we’d like them to be, others are far too critical. We can agree that the Mariners are bad, but we can’t agree on the way in which we all agree about that very thing we originally agreed upon. If this sounds ridiculous, that’s because it is.
Continue reading The Mariners and Their Trolls
Some of you may know my good friend Ryan Divish. If you don’t, I suggest you follow him on Twitter, @RyanDivish, or read his work in the Tacoma News-Tribune.
Those familiar with Divish are probably aware that he’s a single man pushing 40 years of age, which means it’s time he find a nice lady to keep him company as he stumbles through life. Thing is, I’ve been trying to hook Divish up with attractive, well-to-do ladies for some time. And how does he respond to my offerings? He rejects them! That’s no good at all.
In order to help Divish find just the right woman to be his future companion, I’ve created an application for his affection, which you’ll find below.
I encourage all of you to read this application over. If you or anyone you know is interested in applying, please click on the image itself and you’ll be taken to a downloadable PDF. Send your application to firstname.lastname@example.org and your entry will be forwarded onto Ryan Divish, himself. With any luck, Divish will peruse the applications, find himself a few good ones, and take one or more lucky ladies on the date(s) of their dreams.
Thank you for applying!
Click here to watch From Havre to Heaven.
Imagine that you have these two friends, a man and a woman, and they decide to make a baby. You’re thrilled, right? These are your friends, after all, and spawning this tiny little human is just a freakin’ miracle. Fact is, you couldn’t be happier for them.
So one day, you’re kickin’ it with these friends of yours and they get around to asking you what you’d name their baby. Being the jokester that you are, you neglect the flattery of the moment, opting instead to giggle and say, “Rufus.” You laugh, and they laugh, and everyone’s having fun, at which point you all take another hit off the bong (joking…don’t do that, kids…especially when you’re pregnant, bad idea) and go back to enjoying your evening.
Anyway, a couple days later, after you’ve all had a chance to recover, your two friends sit you down once again and say, “Alex, we have some good news.”
Continue reading From Havre to Heaven: The Ryan Divish Story
I’ll tell you what it is first, then I’ll give you the back story. It is a weekly podcast featuring myself, producer extraordinaire Josh Sabrowsky, traffic diva Ashley Ryan, and the Tacoma News-Tribune’s Ryan Divish, hosted by Sports Radio 950 KJR, published through 950KJR.com and SeattleSportsnet.com, and available through iTunes.
There you have it.
So how did this come to fruition?
Very simply, it started with a karate emergency. And for the record, “Karate Emergency” is now my new favorite quote. Because nothing says “emergency” quite like karate.
Josh and I were headed to play some pickup basketball with my brother at the Northgate Community Center on Thursday evening. We go every Thursday for open runs. We play ball with high school kids who talk a lot and make us feel better about our fading game and aging bodies.
Continue reading The Greatest Thing You’ve Never Heard
If you happen to be near a radio tomorrow (Tuesday) morning between the hours of 6:00 and 10:00 AM, go ahead and tune to 950 on your AM frequency and enjoy the dulcet tones of one Ryan Divish.
For those of you who don’t know Ryan Divish, he happens to be the Mariners beat writer for the Tacoma News-Tribune and one of Seattle Sportsnet’s most loyal readers.
On a personal note, Divish hails from Havre, Mont. and is a proud alum of the University of Montana. As one of the few Seattleites who has been to Havre, being able to say I know someone from that small town is a huge accomplishment. Husky women’s basketball fans may also recount that former player Loree Payne also hailed from the bustling metropolis of Havre (which, for the record, is pronounced ‘Hav-err’ and does not rhyme with the last name of a quarterback named Brett).
Continue reading Loyal SSN Reader To Host KJR Morning Show