Tag Archives: Plaxico Burress

Top 11: Greatest Sports Related Halloween Costumes Ever

7. Also the number of mistresses Lance has.
7. Also the number of mistresses Lance has.

You’re a sports fan who loves Halloween. And let’s face it, how many of us don’t love Halloween?

As a kid, you get to dress up as your favorite superhero for an evening, then go take candy from every house in the neighborhood. Fantastic.

As an adult, you get to drink, party, and watch slutty chicks dress up in skimpy clothing and forgo all their inhibitions simply because they’re in costume. Also fantastic.

So how are you going to make this Halloween the very best Halloween?

Answer: By dressing up in one of these 11 unique sports-related ensembles. Because you can only be a hobo for so long before it gets old.

On to the list.

11. Lance Armstrong’s last sperm

I’ve been pondering this costume idea for a number of years now. It’s a low-cost, low-maintenance outfit that really only requires toilet paper and a quick wit.

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Are You S#!@@!%& Me?! Burress To Serve Two Years In Prison

Burress Weapons Charges FootballFormer New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress is preparing to serve two years in New York state penitentiary after agreeing today to plead guilty to one count of attempted criminal possession of a weapon. Which I guess means he tried to possess the weapon in criminal fashion, but failed to do so criminally enough.

Let me just get right to the guts of this story. If Burress serves the entirety of his prison sentence, he will have spent more time in jail than Michael Vick (18 months) and Donte Stallworth (24 days) combined. So what do you get when you add one genocidal dog killer with a vehicular homicidal drunk? Apparently you get a guy who shoots himself in the leg in a victimless crime.

Let’s not overlook the fact that unlike thousands of crimes that take place in America on a daily basis, Burress’s criminal act had no victim. There was potential for a victim, yes, and there were laws broken in that Burress had no right to be toting a firearm. But outside of hurting his own damn self, Burress caused no discernable harm to anyone else.

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Burress To Spend Year Or More In Jail? You’ve Gotta Be Kidding Me

plaxicoburressPlaxico Burress is a dumbass.

That doesn’t mean he should spend a year or longer in jail, however.

Burress, as many can recall, accidentally shot himself in the leg with an unlicensed gun in a New York night club last year. The incident was stupid, regrettable, and dangerous.

But it was also isolated and left the assailant as the only victim involved.

So why send Burress to jail for such an extended period of time for making a fool of himself?

Two reasons: He’s black, and he has a history of being a boneheaded football player. Not that any good prosecutor would ever admit this or even think to breach the topic, but it’s the truth and it’s the unfortunate reality that Plaxico Burress is currently encountering.

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