Was Fred Jackson drag racing? Is it possible he jumped the time-space continuum? We take the case to The People’s Court for further deliberation.
Beyond that, there’s a heavy deal of grumpiness with Starbucks (and plastic knives and Halloween costumes, but mostly Starbucks) to kick off the show, we preview the Seahawks-49ers bout, the UW-Oregon debacle is recapped, and we put a nice bow on episode seven with a testament to true love.
Katelynn Johnson is a student at the University of Oregon. A week ago, you didn’t know her name. Back then, she was just another pretty face in the Ducks’ flock of attractive (in a Fembot sort of way, assuming you’re not an Oregon fan) cheerleaders.
Last Saturday, the Oregon football team was in Tucson to take on the Arizona Wildcats. In a closely-contested battle with bowl implications for both teams, Oregon won on a touchdown in overtime before the proverbial ish hit the fan.
Woke up this morning remembering every detail of my dream in complete clarity. To call this the greatest dream ever is an understatement. At the very least, we need to refer to it with unnecessary capitalization of letters (EVER!).
So here’s the premise.
I’m stuck in Eugene, Oregon for whatever awful reason and find my way into a basketball arena where I’m quickly trapped along with about 20,000 or so other people.
Unbeknownst to everyone else (but beknownst to me, even though beknownst isn’t a word) we are here to be killed. Killed by none other than University of Oregon basketball coach/diabolical genius bent on world domination Ernie Kent.
Using Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford as a robot weapon of mass destruction, Kent has plotted to have us all murdered for his pure enjoyment (his motive is not made entirely clear to me, though at this point in my dream I’m in that “act first, ask question later” mode).