Tag Archives: Oklahoma City Thunder

Karate Emergency Ep. 30: I Want It That Way

bsb

Should the NBA legalize gonad-kicking?

Will Chris Taylor ignite the Mariners’ downfall?

Did Slickhawk really send fan mail to a pop star?

Is Geoff Baker going to get his ass kicked?

What are married couples buying at Costco that have the Karate Kids up in arms?

And what exactly prompted one sports radio troll to delete his Twitter account?

All these questions answered and more on this week’s Karate Emergency, where we’ll never show you the meaning of being lonely.

We Are All Heat Fans

The following is a piece I was graciously asked to write for allucanHEAT.com, a Miami Heat site on the FanSided.com network. You can check out the article on allucanHEAT by clicking here, or simply read on…

First of all, I don’t give a damn about the Miami Heat. The Big Three, in particular, annoys me.

LeBron James? He’s an aloof weirdo incapable of normal social interaction. Sure, he’s athletically gifted. But ask him to tell you something honest and he’ll likely panic and jump out the window instead. You can’t trust a guy like that. When he said he was taking his talents to South Beach, he didn’t mention anything about interpersonal skills.

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F**k You, Thundah!

This is an actual scene from Seth MacFarlane’s soon-to-be-released feature film, Ted. It is absolutely glorious. Especially if you’re a Sonics fan.

 

Ted is MacFarlane’s first feature film. He’s best known as the creator of such television shows as Family Guy, The Cleveland Show, and American Dad.

The comedy stars Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, and MacFarlane as the voice of the title character. It premieres nationwide in theaters on Friday, June 29th.

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A Testament to Seattle’s Pain

There will come a day that we have the Supersonics back.

There will come a day that our Supersonics triumph over the Oklahoma City Thunder.

There will come a day that those beloved Supersonics, Seattle’s own, will win this city its second NBA championship.

But until then, we just sit here. In pain, mostly. Because for every ounce of effort we pour into building a brand new facility that will host those days that will come, for every speck of energy we devote to rallying the masses to call out the name of a temporarily-inconvenienced basketball team, for every shred of our collective hearts we exhaust on emotion for those memories the past has given to us, we often find ourselves at the mercy of the reality of the here and now.

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Don’t Worry, Sports Fans: Thunder Will Be Struck Down Eventually

The Oklahoma City Thunder are pretty good these days. Kevin Durant has scored 25 or more points in a bazillion straight games, Russell Westbrook is turning into a superstar point guard, and the team is on pace for 48 wins, which could very well be good enough to get them into the playoffs.

Whatever.

As a Sonics fan, it’s easy to get all worked up over the Blunder’s successes, but why waste the energy?

These are the Zombie Sonics. The Wario to our Mario. Venom to our Spider Man. Kristin Cavallari to our Lauren Conrad.

Continue reading Don’t Worry, Sports Fans: Thunder Will Be Struck Down Eventually

OKC Radio Hosts Issue Vicious Attack On Nick Collison, Fail To Remove Stick From Ass

collisonI want to thank loyal reader Rio for sending me this podcast from an Oklahoma City radio station.

Apparently, you can’t speak ill of the worst city in America without incurring the wrath of pseudo-journalists who call themselves radio hosts in Oklahoma.

And if you’re Nick Collison, and you have anything positive to say about Seattle, you better cover your balls because you’re in for a savage attack on your manhood.

These two radio hosts are basically Shooter McGavin to Nick Collison’s Happy Gilmore. No matter who you are, you can’t listen to this and root for Nick, while simultaneously wishing evil against the radio hosts.

It’s pretty much the best conversation ever, and definitely worth your time. Enjoy.

Sponsoring Russell Westbrook

I own you.
I own you.

I was reading Bill Simmons’ mailbag on ESPN yesterday, when I stumbled upon the greatest idea ever.  Take a look for yourself:

Q: This is a little bit closely related to your holiday gifts column only with a spin: How about sponsoring Mike Dunleavy’s page on basketball-reference.com and making a sarcastic comment about him on it? Hey, its only 10 bucks.
— Bilal, Boston

SG: Done and done. What’s sad is I spent a solid 45 minutes crafting the right testimonial before finally settling on what I wrote. Any time you can spend 10 bucks to sponsor the Undertaker, you have to do it.

This gave me my GIE.  I thought, what I need to do is sponsor an NBA player on basketball-reference.com using Seattle Sportsnet.  Then, I thought, that player needs to be on the Oklahoma City Thunder.  Why?  Because how awesome would it be as a Sonics fan, to witness a Thunder fan head to the page of one of their hometown heroes, only to find a one-liner bashing their team.  Yes, I thought, this will be perfect.

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Playing with ESPN’s NBA Trade Machine

kevindurantadammorrisonYes, it’s that time of year again.  The time when ESPN  proudly displays their greatest invention, the NBA Trade Machine, for all us laypeople to experiment with.  If you’ve never fooled around with the NBATM before, CLICK HERE to get started.  Basically, the trade machine allows you to incorporate up to three NBA teams and begin trading players amongst the teams, taking into account the salary cap and other factors that would influence real-life deals.  Here are some trades I’ve worked out already today.

Trade #1:

Los Angeles Lakers get: Tyson Chandler, Mouhamed Sene, Kyle Weaver, Nick Collison, Earl Watson, Russ Westbrook, and Damien Wilkens.

Oklahoma City Thunder get: Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol.

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