Tag Archives: Nicole Zaloumis

We Found Nicole Zaloumis For You

It’s been almost a year since Nicole Zaloumis hightailed it out of Seattle. If you’re one of the perverts who constantly bombards this website with searches for “Nicole Zaloumis” (often in tandem with certain words that relate to the female anatomy), you’re probably wondering what Zaloumis is up to these days. I’ve done the legwork on your behalf and tracked your favorite sideline reporter down. Don’t thank me. It’s part of my job.

As it turns out, Zaloumis is currently working for the Big Ten Network. She’s been there since August. You can check out a press release about her hiring here.

Unlike her days at Fox Sports Northwest, Zaloumis is somewhat buried on the depth chart at the BTN. The network lists 40 — yes, FORTY — members of their on-air talent team. They have plenty of attractive females to flank Zaloumis, and also include the likes of Muhsin Muhammad, Jim Jackson, Rod Woodson, Amani Toomer, and former Seahawks long snapper Derek Rackley among their broadcasters.

Continue reading We Found Nicole Zaloumis For You

Jen Mueller Cleavage Watch

Like two loaves of Seattle sourdough, sprinkled with yeast and baking alongside one another, Jen Mueller’s breasts evolved from their blouse of an oven and begged to be notice for the first time.

If you watched FSN’s broadcast of the Washington-Washington State game on Saturday, chances are you noticed one thing. Make that two things. Or perhaps, more accurately, the one thing that divided those two things.

With a little, “Hey, Bill Moos, how ya doin? My eyes are up here,” Mueller’s rising dough was the star of the show in Pullman.

Out of nowhere, there was immense cleavage, which as defined by Merriam-Webster is “the quality of a crystallized substance or rock splitting along definite planes.” Wait. That’s not it. Definition five: “the depression between a woman’s breasts especially when made visible by a low-cut neckline.”

And visible that depression was. Might as well have been the Great Depression.

Continue reading Jen Mueller Cleavage Watch

Source: Zaloumis To Leave FSN

A source close to Nicole Zaloumis has reported that the local television analyst will be leaving Fox Sports Northwest in early February.

Zaloumis, otherwise known as the female Hugh Millen, has been an icon on the Seattle airwaves since 2008. She recently gave birth to a son in September, and it is currently unknown as to where her career path will go from here.

A fixture on Mariners telecasts in each of the past two seasons, Zaloumis has been a roving reporter for FSN, providing on-field insight as well as studio analysis.

Upon returning from maternity leave in November, Zaloumis’ role with the station appeared to be in limbo. She was recently spotted as a sideline reporter for the 2009 High School State Football Championships at the Tacoma Dome, a veritable step down from the work she did prior to spawning a baby.

Continue reading Source: Zaloumis To Leave FSN

The Ideal Baby

The ideal baby would of course be conceived by Hugh Millen and Nicole Zaloumis. Ken Griffey, Jr. would watch everything go down, just in case there was a problem.

Millen, naturally, would plant the seed. Zaloumis would accept.

Though it sounds easy, a fierce battle would rage during the conception process. While it is a known fact that Millen possesses the most potent corps of troops west of the Mississippi, it is not often revealed that Zaloumis drops eggs so powerful, they are rivaled only by the Death Star.

Continue reading The Ideal Baby

Nicole Zaloumis Has Spawned A Boy

nicolezaloumis3Received an email today from a member of the Zaloumis family informing us that FSN analyst Nicole Zaloumis and her husband, professional baseball player Michael Jones (Who?! Mike Jones!), recently became proud parents of a baby boy. Here’s the context of the email:

“On 09-09-09 at 6:49 am — FSN Announcer Nicole Zaloumis Jones & Michael Jones delivered a beautiful baby boy (Michael David Jones, Jr.)  the day after AAA Nashville Sounds pitcher dad arrived home for the season. Baby arrived 2 weeks early and was just under 7 lbs. – 20-1/2 in. long. Both are doing fine.”

We wish Nicole and Michael the very best as they enter into parenthood together, and look forward to Nicole’s return on television. Thanks to Sarah for passing along the info.

Also, for most of you out there who would undoubtedly make the reference in the comments section anyways, the answer is yes, this does officially bump Nicole Zaloumis up to MILF status. Carry on.

The Zaloumis Effect

nicolezaloumisGood news, sports fans.

Just noticed that Nicole Zaloumis is providing the studio analysis for FSN’s broadcast of the M’s game today. That means that this website will be bombarded over the course of the next few hours by references to the search term “Nicole Zaloumis.” I like to call this “The Zaloumis Effect.”

Basically, we can quantify The Zaloumis Effect based on how much cleavage Nicole is showing off during the broadcast. Today, lots of cleavage, which in turn equals a large number of site hits. On days when the cleavage is more contained, fewer site hits (though still a fair amount).

The Zaloumis Effect is a funny thing. I’ve come to the realization that there are only a few articles devoted to Ms. Zaloumis on the internet, and that a large majority of them are courtesy Seattle Sportsnet. Hence, when someone Googles “Nicole Zaloumis,” they are often redirected here. Unfortunately for the Googler, we don’t have very many pictures. Sorry.

Anyways, I just wanted to explain to everyone how it works, since it’s been a pretty interesting phenomenon to be a part of. Even if I don’t watch a game on TV, I know when our favorite studio analyst has been on the broadcast based on the number of hits we receive in reference to “Nicole Zaloumis.” It’s pretty awesome. And that’s why we love you, Nicole.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the M’s are playing RIGHT NOW on FSN. It’s a 10:05 AM start time here on the west coast, so get your ass to that couch and start watching. Go M’s!