Back in 2006, I was a medical redshirt freshman at the University of Washington (code for, I was in my third of six years as an undergrad). I was in this public speaking class and we were tasked with persuading others to agree with us on a compelling argument of our choosing. At the time, there was quite a bit of hubbub over the Supersonics and their tenancy at soon-to-be-obsolete Key Arena. As an avid sports fan, choosing to discuss this topic made perfect sense to me. The crux of my argument was simple: the citizens of Seattle needed to help generate funding for a new (or renovated) Key Arena based on all the revenue the building — with the Sonics as the primary lessee — brought in.
I apologize to anyone who may have accidentally uttered any of these statements over the years. It doesn’t mean you’re not a true Seattle sports fan, it just means you have some work to do. Nobody’s perfect.
11. “It’s a boy! And we shall name him Mouhamed!” Sorry, Sene.
10. “Bobblehead night, huh? No, sorry, I can’t go.” Ichiro’s fifty different bobbleheads hate you.
9. “Look, there he is! Husky Legend Casey Paus!” Eh…that was almost unwarranted.
8. “Thanks to Seattle’s new transportation system, everyone can get to the game for free!” Even George Jetson had a laugh at that one.
7. “Yes! The yellow hydro always wins!” Green for life! Red is the enemy!
6. “Oh, that? That’s just my Dan McGwire shrine.” Right next to your portrait of Rich King, no less.
5. “Two World Series tickets, please.” I need to wipe my tears now.
4. “There it is, son. One of Seattle’s greatest landmarks. We renovated it in 2011.” No, thank you, Washington State government.
3. “Honey, have you seen my Ayala jersey?” It’s right next to your Richie Sexson commemorative chucking helmet.
2. “Bill Bavasi told me to.” The answer to the question, “Why did you draft five closers in the first five rounds of our fantasy draft?”
1. “God bless Nick Licata.” Possible substitutes for Licata include Greg Nickels, Frank Chopp, or Christine Gregoire.