October 24, 2012. Mark it on your calendars as the day the hopes and dreams of all fun-loving Seattle Mariners fans were destroyed. On this date in history, Munenori Kawasaki — he of the crowd-waving, dugout-dancing, fake-base-stealing whimsy — was released by the only Major League Baseball team to have ever employed him. Let’s all now share a moment of silence in honor of Mune.
From a business perspective, it makes sense. There are any number of utility middle infielders around the game of baseball who can bat .192, drive in seven runs, and get caught stealing in fifty-percent of their four attempts. But for Christ’s sake, how many of those utility middle infielders will willingly break out spontaneous dance moves in the dugout, flop their wrists in between pitches at the plate (for dramatic effect, we can assume), leap across the infield lawn when a game has just been won, or smile every single day, for no reason at all? None, I imagine. None of those other guys will do it. Except Kawasaki.
Continue reading Mourning Mune
Half-jokingly, I propositioned my Twitter followers about making a Munenori Kawasaki tribute video in the mold of this beautiful monstrosity from earlier today. Except I wanted this tribute video to be set to One Direction’s What Makes You Beautiful. Why? I don’t know why. It was a joke. And What Makes You Beautiful is a goofy-yet-catchy song. These things don’t have to make sense. It’s Twitter.
Anyway, someone actually took me up on my joke-offer. Yep. For real. And they managed to do it in less than half a day. Those are results you can’t generally get from the American workforce, so we have to assume that the mystery person behind this artwork is from far away lands.
As it turns out, the creator of Mune: What Makes You Beautiful is also the owner of the @NotKawasaki Twitter handle. It’s obviously a parody account dedicated to the M’s infielder, so will we ever know who truly bestowed this magical YouTube video upon us? Maybe not. That can only add to the legend, I figure.
Without further ado, here’s greatness:
Go to YouTube and search “Munenori Kawasaki” and you’ll keep an idiot busy for hours. Any red-blooded human being could be entertained by Kawasaki doing all sorts of Kawasaki things for the better part of a day.
That said, among all the giggle-inducing clips of and pertaining to the Mariners’ most beloved middle infielder, the following video may be the most hilarious I’ve ever seen. It appears to be some sort of Japanese fan-made PowerPoint presentation, set to the tune of an equally-hilarious Japanese pop song, all blended together with images of Kawasaki being Kawasaki. Words can’t do it proper justice, so just see for yourself:
And just in case you don’t find that video funny, here’s a moving GIF of Kawasaki mounting Casper Wells after a win. You’ve probably seen this before, but it’s worth seeing again.
Ahh, Kawasaki. You are the greatest.