You probably didn’t see the Texas Rangers beat the New York Yankees tonight and clinch the first World Series berth in their franchise’s history. I understand. It’s a Friday evening. It’s football season. Basketball season is nearly upon us. The Mariners have been dead for five months. I get it.
To be perfectly honest, I can’t say I physically witnessed this momentous occasion, either. I was at the mall, tooling around. Frankly, I still enjoy the vibe at the mall on a Friday night. I worked at the mall for eight frickin years. There are 52 Fridays in a year. Multiply that by eight years. You get 416 Fridays. I wager I spent at least 250 of those Fridays working at the mall between 2001 and 2009. Think about that. 250 Fridays. My God. I can’t even believe it myself. If I wasn’t half-Asian and therefore half-good at math I’d go back and recalculate my work.