Tag Archives: Monday Night Football

REPLACEMENT EVERYTHING!!!

First of all, everybody calm down! In the replacement rules, it CLEARLY STATES that if a receiver has so much as A FINGER on the ball, it is BY REPLACEMENT RULE a reception. You cannot argue with the replacement rules. The replacement rules are enforced by the replacement officials TO A TEE! If you don’t like it, that’s too bad. If a travel leads to a home run on a wicked googly, JUST GO WITH IT! A win is a win and you can’t deny it! It feels so good!

Look, folks. Let’s get serious here for a moment. I’ll be honest. If I was a Green Bay fan, I’d be mad, too. Was that a reception? Was that an interception? Who really knows. How closely did those replacement refs really double-check that last play? Not close enough, I’d wager. Was it worth a discount double-check? Yeah, probably.

But seriously. How beautiful was that game? It was so ugly. So freakin’ ugly! And yet so amazingly beautiful. It was Sarah Jessica Parker. It was Taylor Swift. It was Lindsay Lohan. Are you ugly? Are you beautiful? I can’t tell right now, but you know what? I’m happy anyway. And that’s what really matters.

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The Seahawks’ Quest for Justice

Life isn’t always fair. Take that photo to the left, for example. That’s a stock image of Kelly Kapowski, the prettiest girl at Bayside High School, as played by Tiffani Amber Thiessen. The picture? It was taken right around the second season of the perpetually iconic Saved By the Bell, when Kelly was a sophomore…and Thiessen, in real life, was 16 years of age. Seriously. Sixteen. Look at that picture. Think about that age. How messed up is that? Like I said, life isn’t always fair.

Much like all you horndogs who now find yourself reluctantly longing for a barely-legal (in this state, at least) Tiffani Amber Thiessen, fairness and life aren’t exactly aligning themselves for your Seattle Seahawks, either.

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