Tag Archives: MLB

The Z Files: Leaked Recordings of Jack Zduriencik’s Trade Talks

jackzzzOver the course of every baseball season, general managers across the major leagues engage in confidential, one-on-one conversations with their constituents. Many of these exchanges take place by phone. We were fortunate enough to get our hands on leaked recordings of trade negotiations between Seattle Mariners GM Jack Zduriencik and a number of his fellow peers in the industry. The following is a transcript of those recordings.

Arizona Diamondbacks: Dave Stewart, Senior Vice President & General Manager

JACK: “Dave, it’s Jack Zduriencik.”

DAVE: “Oh hey, Jack. What’s going on?”

JACK: “Well, Dave, I’ll be honest with you: I’m calling about a do-over.”

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Top 11: Most Awesome Unclaimed ’80s Walk-Up Songs

Brit-Hit2Credit Oakland Athletics outfielder Josh Reddick with making ’80s music relevant among today’s major leaguer hitters and their walk-up song choices. It’s Reddick who has recently been raising eyebrows and inspiring headlines with his selection of George Michael’s Careless Whisper as his at-bat anthem. Though Reddick will surely receive the accolades that come along with making a leap towards owning a libido-arousing romantic soft rock ballad, I like to believe that my earlier Mariners-centric request penetrated Reddick’s consciousness and moved him to take action.

Reddick certainly isn’t the first pro ballplayer to capture the hearts of audiences with a decades-old medley to call his own, but the curious nature of a sentimental tune that so blatantly diverges from the mean of driving, bass-heavy tracks is hard to ignore. Nick Punto, a teammate of Reddick’s, has used The Outfield’s 1985 hit Your Love as his song of choice this season. In years past, journeyman outfielder Michael Morse has delighted fans by employing A-ha’s Take On Me and Eurythmics’ Sweet Dreams, and even before that Ichiro Suzuki once upon a time took to the batter’s box to Michael Jackson’s Thriller.

But it’s clear that the more outrageous one gets with their music selection, the more likely he is to garner some extra attention. That’s why we’ve put together a list of the 11 best ’80s songs still not utilized by major league hitters. What follows is one’s ticket to the hearts (and possibly loins) of millions of adoring onlookers. Dare to be different. Dare to be awesome. Dare to choose one of these songs as your walk-up music.

11. St. Elmo’s Fire (Man In Motion)

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The Mariners’ Decade of Mind-Numbing All-Star Misfortune

delabarBack in July of 2003 I was a lazy 18-year-old just a few weeks removed from my high school graduation. I was working a part-time job at Champs Sports and sitting around my parents’ house in my spare time. It was the last summer before college and I wasn’t doing much of anything at all. So naturally on the 15th day of the month, I found myself watching the 74th annual Major League Baseball All-Star Game.

The two rosters that day featured such greats as Montreal Expos second baseman Jose Vidro (the National League’s starting second baseman), New York Mets closer Armando Benitez, Milwaukee Brewers first baseman Richie Sexson, Chicago White Sox designated hitter Carl Everett, token Kansas City Royal Mike Sweeney, and Minnesota Twins relief pitcher Eddie Guardado. If you don’t know the bond that those six seemingly random former All-Stars share, then you obviously aren’t a Mariners fan.

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Top 11: Reasons to be Optimistic About the 2013 Seattle Mariners

mikemorseThe 2013 baseball season is underway and you don’t know how you should feel about our beloved Seattle Mariners. Fear not, M’s fans. I’m not here to tell you how you should feel (that’s no one’s place), but I can give you 11 reasons why you might be able to shed some cynicism and believe in this year’s team.

Without further delay…

11. Chone Figgins is gone.

Lest you think three years of vitriol directed towards the Mariners’ sometimes-third baseman was unwarranted, consider this:

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Baseball’s HOF Voting Is FUBAR

In case you're wondering, the answer is yes. The BBWAA did create their own logo on MS Paint.

If you don’t know what ‘FUBAR’ means, Google it. I refuse to type one of the words that comprises the acronym, so you’ll just have to do your own research. See. There is a certain level of class here at Seattle Sportsnet.

Anyways, if you do know what FUBAR means, then you’ll probably agree that baseball’s Hall of Fame voting procedure is exactly that. It’s broke as a joke, and we can thank the BBWAA for ruining it.

The BBWAA stands for the Baseball Writers Association of America. I know what you’re thinking. ‘Baseball’ is one word. Hence, it should be BWAA. And yet we let these people vote.

In all seriousness, the BBWAA is a group of esteemed sportswriters with impressive credentials that spend the better part of their journalistic down time covering baseball. While the BBWAA as a whole maintains a reputation of, shall we say, holier-than-thou proportions, there are a few great baseball writers out there who we can all instill faith in when it comes to Hall of Fame voting (Larry Stone, of The Seattle Times, is a perfect example).

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Coming Soon To The Emerald Queen Casino, George Lopez!

Nobody gets you. SAP: Nadie te entiende.
Nobody gets you. SAP: Nadie te entiende.

Don’t get your checkbooks out just yet, folks. I’m only speculating on Lopez’s career trajectory. But I think we can all agree that we’re thisclose to welcoming Mexico’s greatest superhero to the EQC doors in the near future.

If you’ve watched any of the MLB playoffs on TBS, you’ve likely been sidelined by an overdose of Lopezitis.

TBS is pimping Lopez’s new late-night talk show as if it were a Tyler Perry spinoff, apparently making an attempt to tap into all the Dominicans and Venezuelans that are watching their family members play on TV. Little do they know that George Lopez is neither Dominican nor Venezuelan.

But even if he were, would it really matter? Who’s going to watch his show, TBS? Answer me that. You’ve got Letterman, Conan, Kimmel, and Lopez, not to mention reruns of Family Guy (Cartoon Network), late local news, Sportscenter, and probably some scrambled porn on the high-numbered channels somewhere. There are more people out there who would rather watch scribbly boobs than witness George Lopez kill comedy.

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