Tag Archives: Mitch in the Morning

The Unofficially Official 2014 Sports Radio KJR Dance Preview

13_kate-upton_27Once again, we’ve reached that point in the year when sports take a back seat to women, as they so often tend to do. In this instance, however, you have the opportunity to win a trip to any sporting event in the world by accurately selecting the hottest women on the planet.

Because the stakes are so high, we’ve decided to help you out on your way to the rugby World Cup in Australia, the Jai Alai championship in Malaysia, or the Beer Olympics in Europe. At the same time, you’re more than welcome to play along with Seattle Sportsnet and a number of our closest friends by filling out a bracket at SportsRadioKJR.com, then navigating here, clicking “Join,” and entering the password, “sonics.”

Below you’ll find projections for all 64 matchups in this year’s tournament. We’ve done all the dirty work for you because we care. And also because we got to scour Google Images for pictures of these women. But mostly because we care.

FIRST ROUND

Region 1: Your Fortune Awaits

Katy Perry vs. Rihanna

For the second year in a row, Perry and Rihanna are matched up against one another in the tournament’s opening round. A season ago, it was Perry who triumphed over her Barbadian foe and there’s no reason to believe the outcome will be any different in 2014. Take a bow, Rihanna, it’s over. Winner: Perry.

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The Unofficially Official 2013 Sports Radio KJR Dance Preview

pinderIt’s that time of year again. Dance time. Formerly “Bigger” Dance time. But then some blowhard decided “Bigger Dance” was too close to “Big Dance” for the comfort of some asshole’s lawyer, so here we are with “The Dance.” As if this is like the shindig of the year at a local high school or something.

Anyway, enough about that. You need to fill out a Dance bracket and you’re looking for some help. That’s where I come in. I’m not an expert, but I do pride myself on being judgmental. As we’ve done here in the past, we’ll go through every single Dance matchup and give you a winner. From Game 1 to Game 64.

Right about now if you either a) need to fill out your Dance bracket at Sports Radio KJR or b) are just plain confused as to what all this is really about, please click here and achieve both a) and/or b). If you’d also like to join the SSN Dance pool, please navigate here and enter the following:

Pool Number: 678

Password: sonics

To your left you’ll see a picture of a beautiful woman. That’s Lucy Pinder. She won this competition last year. There will be more pictures of beautiful women as you scroll down. Enjoy that. Maybe don’t read this at work, but enjoy it nonetheless. Without further ado…

FIRST ROUND

Region 1: Chelada

Sofia Vergara vs. Alicia Keys

Just the other day I happened to be watching BET (they show reruns of Family Matters in the afternoon, in case you were wondering why) when I caught a showing of the movie Soul Plane. I’d never seen Soul Plane before, but wouldn’t you know it, one of the flight attendants for NWA Airlines was played by Sofia Vergara. So not only has she captured the Latino vote (naturally) and the white vote (Modern Family), but she also has the black vote. Even Alicia Keys isn’t that omnipresent. Winner: Vergara.

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The Unofficially Official 2012 Sports Radio KJR (Bigger) Dance Preview

I do this every year. People know about it. It’s kind of a big deal. It warms the cockles of so many hearts. Sometimes, people that read this analysis even do well in the tournament. Mostly, though, I’m here to help my fellow man. Or, perhaps, fellow woman.

Anyway, if you don’t know about The Dance (nee, the Bigger Dance), go here to find out more, fill out your bracket, and have a chance to win a bevy of prizes, including a trip to any sporting event in the world. It’s all brought to you by Sports Radio KJR and the Mitch in the Morning Show. We just provide the matchup analysis.

Also, be sure to join the Seattle Sportsnet Office Pool and compete for the bragging rights among so many of your reading brethren. We’re pool No. 105 and our password is my Twitter handle, “alexssn.”

Without further ado…

FIRST ROUND

Region 1: Original

Meagan Good vs. Carrie Underwood

Carrie is a perennial favorite. She gets the guy vote, of course, but also the highly underrated female vote. She’s a national treasure. You can’t pick against her. She once took a Louisville Slugger to both of Tony Romo’s headlights. Can Meagan Good claim any of that? No. No, she cannot. Winner: Underwood.

Paula Patton vs. Kate Upton

I’ll be honest. I don’t know who Paula Patton is. That said, Paula is not a name often associated with hotness. You don’t see a hot chick running Green Lake in yoga pants and think to yourself, Damn, I bet that girl’s name is Paula. No one’s ever thought that before. Not ever.

Kate Upton (pictured above, right), on the other hand, is this year’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition cover model and has big boobies. If we know anything about this tournament, it’s that a strong frontcourt and the ability to really take it to the rack trumps everything else. I’ve also been told that she is not related to B.J. Upton, which means she’s not burdened by inherent suckiness. Winner: Upton.

Continue reading The Unofficially Official 2012 Sports Radio KJR (Bigger) Dance Preview