Tag Archives: Mariners

Go For It, Jerry

Jerry DipotoSports fans are inherently selfish. If it was up to us, rebuilding years wouldn’t exist and every single season would involve a championship pursuit. Money would be no object, and like monopolizing board game tycoons we’d buy everything in sight and kick our competition’s ass all up and down St. Charles Place.

We are never satisfied, sports fans. We want it all and more. We want the rings and the trophies and the gaudy commemorative gear. We want our guys to be the best and your guys to be the worst. We actually yearn for wins with our tangible promotional giveaways, and we crave the taste of success, not sorrow, amidst the bubbles of our ten-dollar stadium beers.

This is the backdrop for our 2016 Seattle Mariners, who have pieced together the type of campaign that warrants a serious decision in the coming days: win now at the expense of later, or win later at the expense of now.

Continue reading Go For It, Jerry

Thank You, Ken

CoJwCboXgAAWVteI will start with my family.

Ken Griffey, Jr. has no idea what he has done for my family, so let’s begin there.

We love baseball, my family. When I was little, my dad would take us to games at the Kingdome a few times each year. We would get there two hours beforehand, as soon as the gates opened, and race up the concrete ramps until we reached the first base side of the 300 level.

It made little sense, arriving so early to take in batting practice from a location where not a single batted ball would travel, but we did it anyway. We liked being up there and soaking it all in.

Continue reading Thank You, Ken

Karate Emergency Ep. 35: Steal Your Thunder

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Kevin Durant, bless his heart, has bolted Oklahoma City for greener pastures. Is he an American hero? Absofrickinlutely.

Russell Wilson got married on Wednesday, but is his safety a concern?

And the Mariners are struggling-surviving as they put fans through a roller coaster ride of a week.

All that, plus Tindermonials on this week’s Karate Emergency!

Karate Emergency Ep. 30: I Want It That Way

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Should the NBA legalize gonad-kicking?

Will Chris Taylor ignite the Mariners’ downfall?

Did Slickhawk really send fan mail to a pop star?

Is Geoff Baker going to get his ass kicked?

What are married couples buying at Costco that have the Karate Kids up in arms?

And what exactly prompted one sports radio troll to delete his Twitter account?

All these questions answered and more on this week’s Karate Emergency, where we’ll never show you the meaning of being lonely.

Karate Emergency Ep. 29: Bat Signals and Breakups

odorpunch

Meerkats rejoice! Two-thirds of the KE cast has found their way back to Tinder in the wake of equally harrowing, though completely unique, breakups.

Plus, was Rougned Odor’s KO of Jose Bautista a great thing for baseball or the greatest thing for baseball?

All that and more, along with all your Beyonce news, on this week’s Karate Emergency!

Karate Emergency Ep. 28: Vacate This

Sonics Rally

We’re in mourning over the death of Sonics Arena this week, at the hands of the evil Seattle City Council. In the aftermath of the execution, reaction has been decidedly negative. Is the vitriol warranted?

Seattle’s favorite quarterback weighs in on the arena news, but does he really deserve praise for backing the movement?

And the first place Mariners, winners of 14 of their last 19 games, are finally refusing to lose. What’s next for the hometown nine?

All of that, plus Slickhawk tries his hand at glamping on this week’s Karate Emergency!

Karate Emergency Ep. 27: Street Vacation

02 - Occidental Avenue S. - Facing South

We’ll get to that street vacation in due time, but first we have to exhaust a fair amount of ire, while also discussing Slickhawk’s new living, breathing lady friend.

The Sonics are one step closer to returning, provided city government doesn’t screw this all up. The Mariners have a chance to turn Wednesday’s win into a winning streak. And the Seahawks have an old face back in town, with potential new faces forthcoming.

In-between, we debate who actually had the Seahawks’ 2016 schedule first, and does life really happen in the DMs?

All that and more on this week’s Karate Emergency!