Tag Archives: Mariners

Thank You, Ken

CoJwCboXgAAWVteI will start with my family.

Ken Griffey, Jr. has no idea what he has done for my family, so let’s begin there.

We love baseball, my family. When I was little, my dad would take us to games at the Kingdome a few times each year. We would get there two hours beforehand, as soon as the gates opened, and race up the concrete ramps until we reached the first base side of the 300 level.

It made little sense, arriving so early to take in batting practice from a location where not a single batted ball would travel, but we did it anyway. We liked being up there and soaking it all in.

Continue reading Thank You, Ken

Karate Emergency Ep. 35: Steal Your Thunder

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Kevin Durant, bless his heart, has bolted Oklahoma City for greener pastures. Is he an American hero? Absofrickinlutely.

Russell Wilson got married on Wednesday, but is his safety a concern?

And the Mariners are struggling-surviving as they put fans through a roller coaster ride of a week.

All that, plus Tindermonials on this week’s Karate Emergency!

Karate Emergency Ep. 30: I Want It That Way

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Should the NBA legalize gonad-kicking?

Will Chris Taylor ignite the Mariners’ downfall?

Did Slickhawk really send fan mail to a pop star?

Is Geoff Baker going to get his ass kicked?

What are married couples buying at Costco that have the Karate Kids up in arms?

And what exactly prompted one sports radio troll to delete his Twitter account?

All these questions answered and more on this week’s Karate Emergency, where we’ll never show you the meaning of being lonely.

Karate Emergency Ep. 29: Bat Signals and Breakups

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Meerkats rejoice! Two-thirds of the KE cast has found their way back to Tinder in the wake of equally harrowing, though completely unique, breakups.

Plus, was Rougned Odor’s KO of Jose Bautista a great thing for baseball or the greatest thing for baseball?

All that and more, along with all your Beyonce news, on this week’s Karate Emergency!

Karate Emergency Ep. 28: Vacate This

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We’re in mourning over the death of Sonics Arena this week, at the hands of the evil Seattle City Council. In the aftermath of the execution, reaction has been decidedly negative. Is the vitriol warranted?

Seattle’s favorite quarterback weighs in on the arena news, but does he really deserve praise for backing the movement?

And the first place Mariners, winners of 14 of their last 19 games, are finally refusing to lose. What’s next for the hometown nine?

All of that, plus Slickhawk tries his hand at glamping on this week’s Karate Emergency!

Karate Emergency Ep. 27: Street Vacation

02 - Occidental Avenue S. - Facing South

We’ll get to that street vacation in due time, but first we have to exhaust a fair amount of ire, while also discussing Slickhawk’s new living, breathing lady friend.

The Sonics are one step closer to returning, provided city government doesn’t screw this all up. The Mariners have a chance to turn Wednesday’s win into a winning streak. And the Seahawks have an old face back in town, with potential new faces forthcoming.

In-between, we debate who actually had the Seahawks’ 2016 schedule first, and does life really happen in the DMs?

All that and more on this week’s Karate Emergency!

Karate Emergency Ep. 26: An Asshole is Still An Asshole

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A special opportunity presents itself this week, as the KE crew gets first crack at reacting to Wednesday’s Softy vs. Geoff Baker interview on Sports Radio KJR. It’s exactly what you’d expect.

Before that, however, we get to steal from the Ian & Puck Show by playing a variation of the best segment on radio, Ask Adam. This time around, Producer Adam gets a legitimate shot at a tangible prize.

Plus, are Mariner fans really disloyal? Are the Golden State Warriors the best team of all-time? And is Kobe the most selfish basketball player ever?

All that and more on this week’s Karate Emergency!

You’re Wrong About Mariners Fans

couchguyAn hour after you told yourself you’d go to the gym, you slouch chin-to-chest in the recesses of a couch that, pray to Jesus, never sees the glow of a blacklight.

Fully ensconced in the bowels of an impending loss, you watch in the silence of your own bitter misery as the Mariners bullpen pisses away a lead like a terrible parent draining their child’s community college fund at the nearest tribal casino.

This is shit, you think. Why am I sitting here? When did I take off my pants? Do I have any beer left, or is this the last one? I should eat dinner soon. No, I still need to go to the gym. I’ll wait until after we hit. The bottom of the order’s coming up? Fuck, I might as well leave right now. No—the bottom of the order has been killing it lately, and there’s no more Zunino. Okay, I’ll stay. The gym is open 24 hours anyway.

“God damn it, what the fuck?!”

The silence is broken by your own tenor, you realize, as a barrage of incoherent frustration escapes you in a moment of mental fragility.

Continue reading You’re Wrong About Mariners Fans

Karate Emergency Ep. 25: Hashtag Opening Day

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The sun is out and baseball season is upon us, which means the Mariners and their scorching hot start are top of mind. Things are looking up for the hometown nine, but have you seen Dae-Ho Lee in Super-Mo yet? Truly something to behold.

The NCAA National Championship was one for the ages, plus what exactly did the Sounders TV play-by-play announcer do that’s so hilarious?

All that and more on this week’s Karate Emergency!

 

Karate Emergency Ep. 24: Bros Before Hos

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Should you rat on your buddy if he’s cheating on his woman? Should you record your buddy talking about his affairs? We answer these questions and more against the backdrop of a budding sports scandal.

Plus, baseball season is about to get underway, but are the Mariners being assholes about Chris Hansen’s proposed arena project? How should we be balancing our Mariners fanaticism with the reality of the team’s ridiculous stance on progress?

Finally, a seminal This Week in ’90s History, and a farewell letter from a really average guy.

Check it!

Karate Emergency Ep. 18: Dae-Ho Diet Plan

Baseball season is upon us, which means we turn to part-time Karate Emergency member Ryan Divish for our 2016 Seattle Mariners preview.

Before we discuss the rotation, position battles, and the likes of Korean superstar Dae-Ho Lee, we have to address equally pressing matters: the Super Bowl, Husky basketball, and a long list of items that have drawn our ire.

All of this and more in the latest episode of Karate Emergency!

Karate Emergency Ep. 17: Kanye, Cam, and Clapbacks

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The gang returns from a brief hiatus after a shocking turn of events at the studio.

We catch up after our time apart, discuss Wednesday’s Twitter feud that broke the internet, learn about “clapbacks,” weigh in on the polarizing figure that is Cam Newton, and lament the end of the Seahawks season.

The latter half of our show transitions to a more safe-for-work conversation around the continued success of Husky hoops, and we close things out with a detailed analytical breakdown on the Top 10 Seattle Mariners promotional giveaways of the 2016 season.

 

Ken Griffey Jr. and the Making of a Superhero

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On November 15th, 2007, a man by the name of Barry Lamar Bonds was served an indictment by a federal grand jury. The indictment alleged counts of perjury and obstruction of justice against Bonds, who, four years earlier, had sworn under oath that he had never used illegal substances provided to him by a Bay Area pharmaceutical company called BALCO.

Had Bonds held any other occupation, the story may not have been nearly as widespread. Bonds, however, happened to be a Major League Baseball player. And at the time of the indictment, the 43-year-old outfielder was resoundingly considered one of the best players in the history of his sport. Bonds was alleged to be nothing short of a liar, and as a result, a criminal. He never played baseball again.

Eight weeks before Bonds found himself indicted, another baseball player, also an outfielder, was fielding his position when he collapsed to the turf.

Continue reading Ken Griffey Jr. and the Making of a Superhero

Karate Emergency Ep. 16: Got Gas?

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The legendary sound of one of Seattle’s most revered sports radio hosts graces the airwaves this week, as we welcome Mike Gastineau onto the show and kick Slickhawk to the curb (for the time being).

Gas leads us down memory lane, as we reminisce about the greatness of Ken Griffey, Jr. on the day he becomes a first ballot Hall of Famer. (And be sure to pay close attention to that Dave Niehaus story.)

We break away from the Junior lovefest to discuss the Seahawks venture to the frozen tundra for their playoff matchup with the Vikings. Marshawn is back, the temperature will be well below freezing, and our guest co-host once saved someone you probably know from getting arrested in Minnesota.

Breaking news demands our attention, with Athletic Director Scott Woodward leaving Washington for Texas A&M. What will his legacy be at UW, and how did Woodward shape the current landscape of sports on Montlake?

Finally, Husky hoops takes center stage with a monumental weekend sweep over the L.A. schools to open conference play. Are the Huskies for real? We debate the legitimacy of these young pups.

All that, PLUS This Week in ’90s History!

And if you prefer listening on iTunes, find every episode of Karate Emergency free here.

Karate Emergency Ep. 2.13: Women in Sports

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Oh, hey, a borderline insane, entirely sexist article about women faking an interest in sports was published in Seattle Weekly this week, so we discuss it on today’s episode.

But wait, there’s more.

The Mariners continue to make headlines with a flurry of moves, the Seahawks are suddenly fielding a capable offense, and UW basketball is stomping lesser opponents thanks to one of the least heralded, yet most accomplished Huskies of all-time.

All of that, plus a segment in which Kelly goes on a rant about undergarments and freely offers up her own wardrobe preferences. Enjoy it, meerkats.