Tag Archives: Mariners

2017 Seattle Mariners Preview: Felix Forgets 30

felixIt was a year to forget for Felix Hernandez. The regression he endured in 2016 was so abrupt and so sudden that even casual onlookers couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at his performance.

The 30-year-old was far from regal, despite a nickname he’d earned years prior. As his pitching suffered, he began to look less like King Felix and more like John Goodman’s King Ralph.

The Felix Hernandez we saw in 2016 was the product of a decade of indulgence, one that any athlete or ex-athlete over the age of 30 knows all about. There’s even a saying that sage veterans of sport will pass along to naïve young bucks, full of boundless energy and equipped with perfectly adept bodies: “Wait ‘til you’re 30.”

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The Seattle Mariners All-Headshot 40th Anniversary Team

The Seattle Mariners are celebrating their 40th anniversary this year and are honoring some of the greatest players in franchise history as a result.

To keep things interesting, the M’s are requesting your help in picking their 40th Anniversary team. From now until April 2nd, fans can vote on their favorite players here.

I’d certainly encourage anyone to go vote and help select the all-40th Anniversary squad. You wouldn’t want to miss out on the democratic process and witness Richie Zisk get elected Best Designated Hitter in franchise history, would you? Although I heard something about Edgar Martinez’s emails the other day, so… you know what, it doesn’t matter, just vote.

We went through and made our selections, stopping to enjoy the many photos of current and former M’s in their heyday. Some of the pictures were just too good to be ignored, so we decided to pay homage to the very best photos with the following selection of the greatest Mariners in history as selected by their ballot headshot.

If you find yourself stuck on who to vote for, always use the mugshot as a tiebreaker. That’s our theory, at least.

1B – Bruce Bochte

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Bruce Bochte is probably best remembered for becoming the first Seattle Mariner to record a hit in an All-Star Game (at the Kingdome, no less), which makes him a worthy addition to the 40th Anniversary ballot. The photo, though? That’s another story.

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Karate Emergency, Ep. 48: Expect 1-to-3 Inches

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Don’t take your small children to see R-rated movies. It’s a bad idea.

Also, it’s supposed to snow in Seattle this week. We’ll see about that.

The Mariners are making moves at the Winter Meetings, acquiring a pitcher who actually threw a no-hitter in the major leagues.

Will the Seahawks upgrade their offensive line this offseason, or instead bring back the likes of Kam Chancellor and Steven/Stephen Hauschka? Can they somehow find a way to do it all?

Plus, above all else, the Huskies are Pac-12 Champions and on their way to the College Football Playoff. Our entire crew is excited, even the resident Duck — who also happens to be celebrating the hiring of Oregon’s new football coach, Willie What’s-His-Name.

All that and more on the latest KE!

Hot Mic Catches Mariners Broadcaster Speaking the Truth


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It’s not often during a ballgame you hear a broadcaster say exactly what every fan happens to be thinking.

Lucky for us, a hot microphone and an abrupt return from commercial break caught Mariners announcer Dave Sims in a moment of sheer honesty.

Shortly after M’s left fielder Norichika Aoki unleashed a hideous throw to home plate that sailed all the way to the backstop, Sims had this to say on the ROOT Sports broadcast:

Aoki’s defense rivals that of only James Harden, and his throwing arm would play better at the Little League World Series, so it isn’t surprising to hear someone lament his shortcomings in the field.

And in the end, the terrible throw proved fairly inconsequential, as the Mariners were shut out by the New York Yankees 5-0.

Still, it was pretty awesome hearing a guy paid to watch the team speak the truth, if even for a split second.

Go Sims. Go M’s.

The Mariners’ Gameday Etiquette Dilemma

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It has been fifteen years since the Mariners were really, really good, so forgive us for not knowing how to act in the wake of the team’s recent success.

On Saturday night, as the M’s were on the verge of beating the Milwaukee Brewers, television cameras captured an encounter between a Safeco Field usher and one such member of the Mariners faithful who happened to be cheering on the hometown nine. Video was shared online, and inquiring minds began immediately asking questions and recapping personal accounts of similar brushes with stadium staff.

The organization quickly responded to the uproar, and on Sunday a member of the team’s front office reached out to share details of what took place before and after the recorded incident.

Continue reading The Mariners’ Gameday Etiquette Dilemma

Usher Silences Fans As Mariners Silence Brewers

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It’s rare for the Seattle Mariners to find themselves in a playoff race, but here we are nearing the end of August and the M’s are in the thick of the postseason hunt.

What should be cause for celebration is apparently being muted by Safeco Field’s ushers, many of whom have worked hard over the years to stifle fun in the ballpark.

One such usher went rogue on Saturday night, in the midst of the Mariners’ 8-2 win over Milwaukee.

With two outs in the top of the eighth inning, the tying run at the plate, a full count on batter Chris Carter, and Felix Hernandez on the mound, one would reasonably expect fans to come to their feet and cheer on their ace. Not in this usher’s section, though:

Okay, get past the fact that the fan in question looks like he got lost on his way to The ‘Pen, and focus on his behavior. He’s doing nothing wrong. He’s standing and cheering for his team in a close contest. Why any usher would choose to reprimand the actions of a fan doing exactly what he’s supposed to is a bit confusing.

If anything, the seemingly indifferent crowd around this side show could use a bit of a pick-me-up.

It’s a pennant chase, people. Enjoy it.

Karate Emergency, Ep. 38: The King Meerkat

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The esteemed Jason La Canfora, NFL reporter extraordinaire, joins us in-studio for what is undoubtedly the most fun we’ve ever had on Karate Emergency.

A resident pain in Mitch Levy’s ass, which we love, and the king of all the meerkats, we talk Seahawks, NFL football, Russell Wilson, and most importantly, the MLB playoff race.

Plus, was Sunday the greatest day in Sounders history for non-soccer fans?

And how many f-bombs can we get a respected media presence to say on-air before we wrap this shit up?

All that and more on this week’s Karate Emergency!