Tag Archives: LenDale White

Check Out This Epic Fail…

Saw this hanging on the half-off rack at the Seattle Team Shop (literally, one of my favorite stores of all-time) and it took me and my buddy Chris a good thirty seconds to figure out why some dude named White had had his named slapped onto the back of Deon Grant’s old uniform.

Somewhere in that five-minute time frame between when LenDale Plumpy White was traded to the Seahawks and when he was subsequently cut by the Seahawks, the NFL seized the moment and ejaculated his replica jersey all over the Emerald City. Now the good folks who run a great store like the STS are stuck trying to pawn this worthless piece of crap off on unsuspecting Japanese tourists. How often does Gray Line roll down Occidental, anyways? It could take years to move these things.

Now if we could just get our hands on a Pokey Reese jersey, the dynamic duo would be complete.

Dear NFL: Epic, epic fail.

Source: Howard Schultz Responsible For LenDale White’s Demise

Is Howard Schultz, coffee magnate and former Sonics owner, responsible for the release of ex-Seahawks running back LenDale White? Some people say yes, he is.

One individual close to the situation — a small-business entrepreneur by the name of Bob A. Fett — has revealed to Seattle Sportsnet that it was Schultz who provided White with the drugs he is now rumored to have ingested, thus leading to his departure on Friday from the Seahawks organization. Fett, a self-proclaimed giant of the head-hunting industry, speaks no English. He communicated this information to us through a translator fluent in Fett’s native language of Mandalorian.

Though it remains unclear why a man who has caused so much harm to the city of Seattle would begin attacking local athletes, we can only speculate that Schultz is attempting to cover up the bad P.R. of a recent promotional stunt gone horribly awry.

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Warming To Plumpy

A few years back, I unknowingly spawned the birth of a legend when I selected LenDale White in the second round of the Pearce Fantasy League keeper draft. Between the 36 players who were kept by the 12 teams in our league, as well as the 12 players who had been taken in the first round, I was left with few options besides the Tennessee Titans’ starting running back.

Little did I know that White wasn’t exactly in the best shape of his life and was about to have his job stolen by the evil Chris Johnson. It didn’t help any that Johnson wasn’t taken until the final few rounds of the draft, after every starter and most backups were already off the board.

And so it was that I was left with LenDale.

Tennessee’s featured back initially, the erratic White kicked off the ’08 campaign by rushing for five touchdowns in the season’s first four games. To say I was pleased would be an understatement. In a typical fantasy season, my best players are usually obtained via free agency or trade. I’m more or less the George Steinbrenner of fake sports.

White kept his tremendous season going with five touchdowns in weeks seven and eight, alone. That put him at 10 scores already for the year. No easy feat through just seven contests (the Titans had a bye in week six).

Continue reading Warming To Plumpy