Yesterday, we brought you the All-Laminated List Team, a Top 11 countdown featuring an all-star lineup of athletes that you’d let your significant other sleep with (hence the Laminated List). Today, we’re bringing you the exact opposite of yesterday’s list. These are the All-Laminated List Rejects, 11 athletes who nobody should sleep with (let alone your significant other). Some of these guys are flat-out hideous, others are just jackasses who inspire our greatest disdain. Either way, they’re not worth of any lady’s time when it comes to procreation. You’ll see.
11. Kobe Bryant, Guard, NBA, Los Angeles Lakers.
Rap sheet: Adulterer; accused rapist (later acquitted); selfish ballhog.
If Bedroom Kobe is anything like Basketball Kobe, the ladies are going to be in for a miserably tiring evening. Kobe will demand at least 50 orgasms, though he’ll probably only convert on about 20 of those. On the 30 attempts at which he fails, he’ll yell at his poor victim and demand more attention to detail the next time around. When he does connect on a climax, watch out. He may pump his fist or shout, startling even the most alert females. If the sex isn’t good enough, he’ll be out trashing the lady in the media the next morning, and if his wife happens to find out, he’ll just buy her a new ring.