Tag Archives: Kam Chancellor

Karate Emergency Episode 2.3: Pulling Back the Curtain

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Kam Chancellor is back! But what does it mean for the Seahawks? And how about the 12th Man? Will all the #BlockedByKam fans be vindicated on Twitter? We investigate this and more.

In other news, we check in on Kelly’s dating life and the amazing Zack Morris-esque feat she pulled off on Friday. Plus a little venting on the Chinese president and a news story straight from the Steve Sarkisian school of expense reporting.

Karate Emergency, episode 3: Check it out!

Karate Emergency Episode 2.2: Hawk Havoc, Date Updates, and Beer-Chugging Goalies

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Two episodes in and we already have conflict. The Seahawks are in complete disarray, Slickhawk is in need of an intervention after one awful weekend, and Kelly may or may not have cheated at H-O-R-S-E on a date.

But there is good news!

We have an intro and an outro now, so enjoy the crap out of that.

Karate Emergency: The New Class is here to stay. Check it. Plus, find us on iTunes under “Karate Emergency.”

God: Chancellor’s Situation “Not In My Hands”

God-FootballHEAVEN — Refuting comments made Monday by Kam Chancellor in a report from 710 ESPN Seattle, God, Lord of All Things, spoke on the record to inquiring reporters for the first time in several millennia.

“I absolutely, one-hundred-percent do not give a damn,” said God, when asked about Chancellor’s claim that a contract dispute with the Seattle Seahawks was “in God’s hands.”

“Is he planning to part the Red Sea anytime soon? Will he be leading an entire group of people to freedom from religious persecution? No? Then that shit is not in my hands,” proclaimed Our Lord.

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Kam Chancellor’s Stupid, Pouty Holdout

chancellor-750x256In the seminal romantic sports movie Love & Basketball, star-crossed lovers Quincy McCall and Monica Wright share a passion for the titular subjects, love and basketball. As next door neighbors throughout their childhood, Quincy and Monica succumb to attraction in their final year of high school and carry their affair to college, where Quincy finds himself on the USC men’s basketball team and Monica on the USC women’s squad.

As both freshmen deal with the pressures of college athletics, the angst of Quincy’s tumultuous family life creeps in and threatens to destroy the seemingly idyllic romance the pair have crafted. When Monica cannot provide the emotional support Quincy desires in a time of need, a heated argument ensues and Quincy, understandably hurt and frustrated, abruptly breaks off his relationship with Monica. As the story progresses years into the future, we learn that our two protagonists have not reconciled and their love, forever buried in the heat of a teenager’s ire, may never again resurface.

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Karate Emergency Episode 2.1: The New Class

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After a four-year hiatus, Karate Emergency reemerges with a new cast of characters (and one holdover), as the most irreverent Seattle sports podcast in a brief and underwhelming history makes its triumphant return to the airwaves.

The Karate kids unleash some grumpiness before discussing the insanity of the Kam Chancellor situation, the state of the Husky football program, and whatever it is the Mariners are doing these days. Rounding out the week’s banter is a rousing edition of America’s favorite game show, You Can Only Have One. And in-between are a fair amount of well allocated expletives.

Slickhawk, Kelly, and yours truly resuscitate KE with the very first episode of the show’s reboot. Whether you like it or not, we’re back.

Find us on iTunes by searching “Karate Emergency.”

Golden Tate and the Conundrum of Replaceable Players

Seattle Seahawks v St Louis RamsThere are more than a few dozen Golden Tates. He is a type. He is not the prototype. He is not Calvin Johnson. You can replace a Golden Tate with another Tate-type. You cannot replace a Calvin Johnson, a prototype, when only one of his kind, a six-foot-five-inch speedster with hands like cocoa butter, exists.

This is the reality of business in the National Football League. Unless you are a unique breed, amongst the elite in the sport, you are replaceable. You’re an after-market iPhone charger, a USB thumb drive, a pair of Levi’s 501s. We can go to the store and easily get more of you. Or in the case of your average NFL player, browse the open market for a viable successor.

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