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An Open Letter to the Offensive Coordinator of the Atlanta Falcons

To: Dirk Koetter, Offensive Coordinator, Atlanta Falcons

From: Seattle Sportsnet

On behalf of: Concerned fantasy football owners everywhere

Date: September 17, 2012

Dear Dirk,

First of all, congratulations on winning the first two games of the 2012 season. By virtue of record, your Falcons are better than 26 other ballclubs in the league. That’s a hell of an accomplishment. And on top of that, the team’s offense is flourishing, making your job among the most secure in America right now. That’s fantastic.

Anyway, enough with the small talk. I’m not writing to you today to comment on your success, great as it may be. I’m writing to you because I need your help.

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