Tag Archives: Jim Mora

Cyber Monday: It All Began With Willie Bloomquist

Depending on how you look at it, baldwinthis day was either supposed to belong to the Seahawks or the internet. It was Monday. Cyber Monday, the day the masses descend upon the world wide web for bargains. But Cyber Monday mattered little to those of us in the Emerald City. The Seahawks had a football game on this particular evening. That meant they were playing on Monday Night Football, arguably the biggest regular season stage in all of professional sports. They were already relegated to sharing a pseudo-holiday with online retailers. And yet their civic brethren across the sports landscape were not content to let them have even half the spotlight.

It started with the Mariners, those assholes, constantly fighting to stay relevant in a town where their irrelevance reigns supreme. They woke up on this chilly, sun-soaked morning and decided to sign Willie Bloomquist. Yes, the Willie Bloomquist. To a two-year, $5.8 million contract. It’s been five years since Willie last played for his hometown Mariners and he’s 36 years of age now, so why not sign him, right? Makes perfect sense. Anyway, they did it, they really did it. Ordinarily, this wouldn’t register on our radar – we’re talking about an aging utility player, after all – but this was no ordinary situation.

Continue reading Cyber Monday: It All Began With Willie Bloomquist

Seahawks Deserve Ass-Kicking Tyrant For Next Head Coach

If the Seattle Seahawks were the classic computer game Oregon Trail, I would put the pace on “grueling,” the food rations on “bare bones,” and tell the players, “Shut the hell up and play, or you’re gonna get dysentery and die.”

Loaded with prima donnas from top to bottom, the 2009 edition of the Hawks were coddled by their head coach, Jim Mora, who lost his job as a result. Consider him Zeke, the kid who was always first to pass in your Trail caravan.

The problem with Mora isn’t that he simply lost too many games; much of it has to do with his reputation as a player’s coach.

The term “player’s coach” is code for, “I want to be your friend and, while you’ll want me to stick around so you don’t have to do much work, I will probably get fired without ever accomplishing much since, deep down, you don’t respect me.” That’s a long-ass code, but you get the idea.

Continue reading Seahawks Deserve Ass-Kicking Tyrant For Next Head Coach