Tag Archives: Jersey Chasers

The Essence of the Male Jersey Chaser

Jersey chasers, as we know them, tend to be female. They gravitate towards athletes from all walks of life — superstars and scrubs alike — to promote their own reputations against the backdrop of ephemeral friendships with equally-ambitious females based more or less on the cattiness of competition and status. That, or they just want to have sex with those athletic demigods who don the requisite jerseys. But I prefer the former definition because it was filled with bigger words and took me longer to write.

Be that as it may, I’ve often found fault with the traditional outlook on these usurpers of the uniform. While we critique women, fine creatures that they are, for their pursuit of these physically-gifted pantheons of humanity (translation: rich, athletic guy who will likely cheat on you at first opportunity because there are a million of you and only a few of him), we frequently ignore the presence of the male jersey chaser.

Yes, friends, the male jersey chaser does exist. And while he is often ignored by the masses, it is important that we pay him his proper due. For the male jersey chaser, in spite of an utter lack of acknowledgement, has maintained quite the stranglehold over the sports world for decades.

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Do The Right Thing?

One look at Terrence Jones’ Facebook profile and you’re bound to see messages of hope, inspiration, and sheer idiocy.

People want to know a guy like Jones because he’s about to be famous. He’s 18 years old, and yet the world wants a piece of his ass because he wears a jersey and can dunk a basketball. They want to say they know a guy like that. That they’re friends with him, even in a virtual sense. That he acknowledged them once.

It’s always been that way with athletes. It’s called “jersey chasing,” and so many people are guilty of it.

There used to be a saying that you don’t meet your heroes, because they’ll only let you down. It’s why I’ve never said a word to Ken Griffey Jr., to be honest. I’ve seen him in person, been mere feet from him, but haven’t spoken to him. I don’t want to be disappointed. And the bar I’ve set for that guy is so high that only Superman could scale it. Who knows if Griffey can fly like that.

These days, that saying has gone out the window. Thanks to social networking sites, fans can be closer to their heroes than ever before. So close, in fact, that heroes barely exist anymore. Celebrities are just like us, stripped down to a user name and 140-to-420 characters of typespace.

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