It happens every year. A handful of European players who no one but Fran Fraschilla has ever heard of get selected in the second round of the NBA Draft.
With nothing but YouTube videos to help craft their opinions, ESPN’s draft analysts deftly bullshit us into believing that these future YMCA ballers have a great chance at becoming the next Dirk Nowitzki.
Let’s be honest. We’re all sick of this garbage. Just once, it’d be nice to hear a supposed “draft guru” speak candidly about these Andrea Bargnani wannabes.
Here’s how I picture it going down:
Scene: Deputy commissioner Russ Granik comes walking on stage while the crowd chants something awful about his mother. Grinning like an idiot in spite of the fact that he wants to kill everyone in attendance, Granik manages to make the all-important announcement.
Russ Granik: With the forty-sixth pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Milwaukee Bucks select Nikola Tjksvlijiblab, a center from Uzbekistan.
Continue reading A Candid Salute To The Foreign-Born Second-Rounder
A list of things that bother me in the world of sports.
-The Canadian National Anthem at sporting events. Let’s face it, Canada. Without America, you’re nothing. Instead of playing the Canadian National Anthem before games, we should just play the Star Spangled Banner twice. Once for America, and once for our mooching cousin to the north.
-White boy college basketball players that play really, really hard but aren’t that good. These are the same people who will one day follow you home and kick your ass after you accidentally cut them off on the highway. They’re willing to fight you over the answer to a trivia question, and are way too intense about the little things in life, like cupcakes…”THOSE ARE BEAUTIFUL CUPCAKES!!!” Calm down, big fella.
Continue reading Wayne Chism’s headband, and other things that bother me in sports