Tag Archives: Jack Zduriencik

The Hisashi Iwakuma Trade Chart

Under what conditions should one consider trading pitcher Hisashi Iwakuma?

This question arose recently, as rumors circulated that Mariners ownership planned to retain Iwakuma despite interested parties around Major League Baseball inquiring about the right-hander’s services.

Baffled as many fans were that the team would choose to hold onto the veteran starter when a) he will be a free agent at year’s end (meaning the team could sign him in the offseason regardless of where he plays the next two months) and b) he’s been kind of sucky lately, we still find ourselves asking whether dealing Kuma makes sense or not.

Below is a hand-crafted flow chart that should help sort this mess out. (Please click on the image for full resolution.)

iwakumatradechart

The Dustin Ackley Trade Chart

Under what conditions should one consider trading outfielder Dustin Ackley?

This question arose recently, as rumors circulated that Mariners General Manager Jack Zduriencik turned down a seemingly reasonable offer to send Ackley to the New York Yankees in exchange for a pair of prospects.

Baffled as many fans were that anyone would refuse an offer to jettison the failed former No. 2 overall draft pick, we still find ourselves asking whether dealing Ackley makes sense or not.

Below is a hand-crafted flow chart that should help sort this mess out. (Please click on the image for full resolution.)

Ackley Trade Chart

The Z Files: Leaked Recordings of Jack Zduriencik’s Trade Talks

jackzzzOver the course of every baseball season, general managers across the major leagues engage in confidential, one-on-one conversations with their constituents. Many of these exchanges take place by phone. We were fortunate enough to get our hands on leaked recordings of trade negotiations between Seattle Mariners GM Jack Zduriencik and a number of his fellow peers in the industry. The following is a transcript of those recordings.

Arizona Diamondbacks: Dave Stewart, Senior Vice President & General Manager

JACK: “Dave, it’s Jack Zduriencik.”

DAVE: “Oh hey, Jack. What’s going on?”

JACK: “Well, Dave, I’ll be honest with you: I’m calling about a do-over.”

Continue reading The Z Files: Leaked Recordings of Jack Zduriencik’s Trade Talks

Take It or Leave It: Rickie Weeks is a Pickle

Rickie+Weeks+Milwaukee+Brewers+Photo+Day+2Dq_D-DI612lPrepare yourselves.

The internet will be inundated with Mariners fanboys ejaculating unbridled excitement over the likes of one Rickie Weeks in the coming hours. I’m not content to sit idly by and accept irrational positivity in the midst of shoulder-shrugging circumstances, so here comes a massive, throbbing counterpoint to help keep you sober in spite of the slobbering, panting statheads working to do otherwise.

First of all, if you haven’t heard the news (and god forbid you’re getting your news from these pages), your Seattle Mariners went and signed the aforementioned Weeks to a one-year, $2 million deal on Wednesday. Weeks, formerly of the Milwaukee Brewers, is a one-time All-Star who used to be among the game’s brightest young stars before a dramatic decline in 2012. The second baseman’s career was on life support through 2013, but a platoon role a season ago helped rejuvenate Weeks’ once-powerful right-handed bat.

Continue reading Take It or Leave It: Rickie Weeks is a Pickle

The J.A. Happening

You don’t like J.A. Happ. There are any number of reasons why you don’t like him. He’s a 32-year-old journeyman starting pitcher. His statistics are as mediocre as they come. Physically, he’s as unintimidating as a six-foot-five-inch human being can be. He only weighs 205 pounds for Christ’s sake. Eat a burger, Happ. Stop making the rest of us fat asses feel bad. And then there’s his head shot. I mean, just look at the guy:

happ

Remove the cap and that could be anybody. That could be your doctor, your accountant, your lawyer, the guy taking your order at Applebee’s, a serial bank robber, a high school math teacher, a U.S. senator, a creepy dude with seven or eight cats, your next-door neighbor, a soccer dad driving a Ford Windstar, and the list goes on.

Continue reading The J.A. Happening

An Updated Analysis of Every Mariners Trade in the Jack Zduriencik Era

Jack Zduriencik*The following is an update from a previous post analyzing every trade of the Jack Zduriencik era in Seattle. Analysis on every transaction has been updated to reflect the passage of time, while an additional 13 trades have been added to the list.

On October 22, 2008, the Seattle Mariners named Jack Zduriencik their newest General Manager. Assuming control of an organization that had been decimated by the foibles of its previous GM, Bill Bavasi, Zduriencik faced a daunting task in rebuilding the Mariners from the ground up.

Just 50 days after landing his new gig, Zduriencik made the first trade of his Mariners tenure. The deal was a blockbuster and would continue to have an impact on the ballclub five-and-a-half years later, where we find ourselves today.

Since that first trade in December of 2008, Zduriencik has proceeded to make 54 more trades for a total of 55 over five-plus seasons. The following is an analysis of all 55 of those transactions.

Trades are listed chronologically, from earliest to most recent. Players acquired in BOLD are current members of the Mariners organization. Grades associated with each trade are entirely subjective and reflective of the author’s opinion.

Trade No. 1: December 11, 2008

Teams involved: New York Mets, Cleveland Indians

Continue reading An Updated Analysis of Every Mariners Trade in the Jack Zduriencik Era

Did You Know The Mariners’ Front Office Is A Raging Dumpster Fire?

dumpster-fire_mediumGeoff Baker, that rascal. He retires from his job as Mariners beat writer to take a new gig as The Seattle Times’ Chief Investigator, Pain In The Ass division. All that stuff he could never say about the M’s when he was an objective reporter? It shall now flow onto the interwebz like champagne in a nightclub frequented by Pacman Jones, splashing liberally onto the breasts of intrigued onlookers who soak up the spillage with smiles on their faces. This is a new era of badassery in local sports media, an era punctuated by whatever Baker shall uncover when he is not sailing the skies in hot air balloons or sampling fine cabernets in exotic locales.

As you may have read over the weekend, Baker’s inaugural foray into the world of sports business reporting (or whatever that title he’s inherited proclaims he does) was a bit of a ground-breaker, an earth-rumbling piece about the Mariners’ front office and their unique brand of dysfunction, the kind that paralyzes fans everywhere into a veritable dumbfounded/angry/terrified hybrid of a stupor. Sure, we’ve known for years that the Mariners were run by a bunch of bumbling idiots. But Baker’s piece not only highlighted the stupidity of the team’s decision-makers, it got reputable sources to speak on record about that stupidity in expansive detail.

Continue reading Did You Know The Mariners’ Front Office Is A Raging Dumpster Fire?