Tag Archives: FSN

We Found Nicole Zaloumis For You

It’s been almost a year since Nicole Zaloumis hightailed it out of Seattle. If you’re one of the perverts who constantly bombards this website with searches for “Nicole Zaloumis” (often in tandem with certain words that relate to the female anatomy), you’re probably wondering what Zaloumis is up to these days. I’ve done the legwork on your behalf and tracked your favorite sideline reporter down. Don’t thank me. It’s part of my job.

As it turns out, Zaloumis is currently working for the Big Ten Network. She’s been there since August. You can check out a press release about her hiring here.

Unlike her days at Fox Sports Northwest, Zaloumis is somewhat buried on the depth chart at the BTN. The network lists 40 — yes, FORTY — members of their on-air talent team. They have plenty of attractive females to flank Zaloumis, and also include the likes of Muhsin Muhammad, Jim Jackson, Rod Woodson, Amani Toomer, and former Seahawks long snapper Derek Rackley among their broadcasters.

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FSN, Howard Schultz, and The Devil

Dear FSN,

A big sarcastic thank you for not picking up the one Mariners game I really want to watch this year. The team is wearing their 1995 teal jerseys (which, I might add, FSN keeps referring to as “green” for some reason), it’s a sunny day, and you could fill the gaps with highlight footage from the miracle season.

FSN, I would like to take this opportunity now to counter your inevitable rebuttal: Yes, I could have just gone to the game. But frankly, I wanted to spend my morning playing basketball at Greenlake, and I did that. It was a great time, I enjoyed it. But sadly, my day is incomplete now that I have come home to find that the M’s aren’t on TV. They’re always on TV, and yet they’re not on TV today. WTF.

That’s basically the end of my letter to FSN. Now for some context.

Continue reading FSN, Howard Schultz, and The Devil

Jen Mueller Cleavage Watch

Like two loaves of Seattle sourdough, sprinkled with yeast and baking alongside one another, Jen Mueller’s breasts evolved from their blouse of an oven and begged to be notice for the first time.

If you watched FSN’s broadcast of the Washington-Washington State game on Saturday, chances are you noticed one thing. Make that two things. Or perhaps, more accurately, the one thing that divided those two things.

With a little, “Hey, Bill Moos, how ya doin? My eyes are up here,” Mueller’s rising dough was the star of the show in Pullman.

Out of nowhere, there was immense cleavage, which as defined by Merriam-Webster is “the quality of a crystallized substance or rock splitting along definite planes.” Wait. That’s not it. Definition five: “the depression between a woman’s breasts especially when made visible by a low-cut neckline.”

And visible that depression was. Might as well have been the Great Depression.

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Compromising Photos of Angie Mentink

Yes, folks. It’s true.

A loyal reader has sent us these photos of FSN analyst Angie Mentink in, shall we say, less than flattering poses.

Let me just say this.

In this world of “sexting” and “anything-goes” picture-taking, you really have to know who you can trust when a camera is present. You can’t just assume that your photos will be safe. Just ask Greg Oden.

Anyways, without further ado, here are the photos.

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FSN: Home of the Epic Fail

FSN. Like an itch on your balls that you just can’t scratch because you’re talking face-to-face with a girl who is clearly better looking than you and you do not want to ruin this, they pretty much annoy the hell out of you.

On the plus side, they provide a service that many of us can’t live without: sports, live, on television, for our enjoyment.

On the other hand, they suck at providing that service. And so we have a catch-22.

Last week, we fanned the flames of war by first posting a critique of the embattled sports network, followed shortly thereafter by a mock interview with an FSN employee.

Surprisingly, we managed to score a reaction from FSN with the airing of our dirty laundry. They sent one of their plebes to handle us through email, and wouldn’t you know it, they screwed that up, too.

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Source: Zaloumis To Leave FSN

A source close to Nicole Zaloumis has reported that the local television analyst will be leaving Fox Sports Northwest in early February.

Zaloumis, otherwise known as the female Hugh Millen, has been an icon on the Seattle airwaves since 2008. She recently gave birth to a son in September, and it is currently unknown as to where her career path will go from here.

A fixture on Mariners telecasts in each of the past two seasons, Zaloumis has been a roving reporter for FSN, providing on-field insight as well as studio analysis.

Upon returning from maternity leave in November, Zaloumis’ role with the station appeared to be in limbo. She was recently spotted as a sideline reporter for the 2009 High School State Football Championships at the Tacoma Dome, a veritable step down from the work she did prior to spawning a baby.

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