Guess what, kids. You’re probably not going to grow to be 6’10” like Chris Young, or even 6’3” like Felix Hernandez. More than likely you’ll stand about 5’9” or so, which is both the average height of the American male and the exact listed height of reliever Danny Farquhar. We’re not here to lie to you or falsely inflate your hopes. Instead, we’ll just give you this disappointing Farquhar growth chart and watch you blossom into a really mediocre adult.
21. Cole Gillespie “Guess Which of These Guys Is Actually A Mariner” Night
People need to understand that there is not now, nor will there ever be, the existence of time travel. Think about it. If time travel existed, we’d already know. Someone from the future would have come to inform us. I’m sure of it.
Now I know we all cite Back to the Future as a guide of sorts for navigating the space-time continuum, but that’s a movie. It’s fiction. Sure, Doc Brown says you don’t go back in time and screw everything up by talking to your past self or blowing the secrets of time travel, but come on. Look at Marty McFly. The dude nearly had an aneurysm trying to play by the rules in 1955. And I consider him a unique human being. You really think your average time traveler would be able to go back and forth without effing everything up? No. No freakin’ way.
Personally, I’ve already made a pact with myself that if time travel does exist at any point in my lifetime, I’ll come back from the future at precisely fifteen seconds from now and let myself know. You’re probably wondering if I’m kidding. I am not. And guess what, I didn’t show up. So time travel doesn’t exist. At least not in my lifetime. Because if it did, I’d be talking to Future Me right now. Unless I die young. Like Tupac. In which case, I better start writing future-dated articles to be released posthumously. I want that weird, cryptic, he’s-still-alive-somewhere-I-just-know-it legacy. We should all want that. It freaks people out. And what better feeling is there than the one you get punking people from heaven? I imagine there’s nothing greater.
The song is entitled Verano Azul. The artist is a man by the name of Juan Magan.
I’ve been wondering about this tune for a while now. Every time I hear it played at Safeco Field, I get a little excited inside. Like hearing the ice cream man come rolling down your street or something.
So I asked the M’s themselves about the song (via Twitter, @TheRealMariners) and they gave me the answer I was looking for. Check it out…
The Mariners are prepared to become sellers in the final days before the July 31 trade deadline and we can’t pretend we didn’t see this coming.
Although, in truth, most of us expected the M’s to be selling by May or June, not lasting until the eleventh hour.
And that’s what we need to remember about the 2009 season. Not the rebuilding, not the inevitable moves that will be made in the coming days, and not even what will likely become Ken Griffey, Jr.’s swan song.
We need to remember the wins. The ride this team took us on. The unexpected success following one of the worst seasons in this franchise’s history.
Bet you a dollar you won’t read that headline anywhere else. We like to appeal to a multitude of readers on this site, including kids, who know all about swagg and how to turn it on, off, up, and down.
And you better believe that right about now, Franklin Gutierrez has his swagg turned on full blast.
The Mariners’ center fielder is on an absolute tear in the past month. Since June 18, Gutierrez has produced a line of .370/.411/1.021 (AVG/OBP/OPS), which is among the very best in the majors. At the same time, he has dramatically increased his power numbers, belting six home runs and driving in 18 runs during that span.
On the season, Guti is now hitting .294/.354/.815 with 12 home runs and 40 RBI. He has become one of the team’s most reliable batters and has locked down the No. 5 spot in the batting order.