Tag Archives: Fantasy Baseball

The Fantasy Life


You will spend your Monday reading about the Sunday performances of real-life NFL teams, led by real-life NFL players, coached by real-life NFL coaches. You will consume and digest information about coverage schemes, reads, options, read-options, all of it. You will nod and you will agree with what you’ve taken in, not knowing what it all truly means. And then you will head on over to ESPN or Yahoo or NFL.com or CBS, log in, and check your fantasy team for the seventy-fifth time in the past three days.

This is reality. There was once a time many years ago when fantasy football was the sports equivalent of Dungeons and Dragons, a guilty pleasure that bordered on hidden obsession, the counterpart to viewing porn for hours on end. You played it, sure. But you didn’t talk about it with anyone you knew. Your leagues were limited to random counterparts across the broad spectrum of the world wide web or your very closest friends, no one else. And god forbid you got caught checking your team. Checking your team on any day, at any hour, differed in no way from adjusting your testicles in public. It looked all sorts of weird, awkward, and offensive, simultaneously. So silently, you played.

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The Seattle Sports Media All-Stars Fantasy Baseball League

In the past year, we’ve created various fantasy sports leagues for worthy readers to partake in. This time around, we decided to take our affinity for made-up athletics to the next level.

In an effort to give Seattle sports fans something interesting to read about, we tapped our social network and came up with 11 participants to join us in the ultimate Seattle Sports Media All-Star Fantasy Baseball League. A standard 12-team operation hosted by ESPN.com, our head-to-head league features a dozen members of the local sports media ranks to compete for the title of fantasy champion.

To help you get to know our league a little better (which you’ll be hearing about frequently over the next six months), here is an in-depth profile on all 12 teams and their respective owners:

Lake City Division

Team #1

Name: The Half-Asian Mafia

Owner: Ryan Divish

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Fantasy Island: Admit It, You’ve Forgotten About Your Team

Cody Ross could be the key to a playoff run.
Cody Ross could be the key to a playoff run.

It’s nearly July, which means there’s a great chance that you’ve left your fantasy baseball team behind and are now focused solely on your pending football draft. That’s okay, it happens to the best of us, but that doesn’t mean you need to give up all hope just yet.

Whether you’ve been a neglectful owner over the past few weeks, or you’ve been trying your hardest to remain in contention despite the fact that your best outfielder was suspended for steroid use (ahem, Manny), we have a few tips to help carry your made-up ballclub until the end of the season. And hey, you might even manage to win the league in the process.

Players You Need To Have (Hint: If you don’t have these players right now, and they’re on your waiver wire, you need to ADD THEM!)

Cody Ross, OF, Florida Marlins. Ross isn’t a big name, but for whatever odd reason the guy absolutely kills the ball in the second half of every season. A bonus for fantasy owners is that he decided to turn on the production once the calendar hit June, so if you’ve had him for the past few weeks, you’ve already benefited from the Marlins outfielder.

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Joey Votto Needs To Get Over His S*%! And Become The Fantasy Baseball Player We All Know He Can Be

vottoCincinnati Reds first baseman Joey Votto started the year as the savior of many a fantasy baseball team. Hitting for power and average, Votto was a pleasant surprise for the owners who took a chance on this talented second-year player.

Since then, however, things have gone tremendously downhill.

Despite all his natural ability, Votto has spent considerable time on the disabled list over the past few weeks with a laundry list of questionable ailments.

From dizziness, to the flu, to inner ear infections, and now the worst news of all: the ever-dubious “personal matter.”

When it comes to baseball player performance anxiety, Votto appears to have fallen off the deep end.

With all due respect to the 25-year-old slugger, this has got to stop.

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Fantasy Island: Bonifacio Coming Back To Earth

bonifacioDon’t say we didn’t warn you.

In our first installment of Fantasy Island one week ago, we told you to pass on Emilio Bonifacio, who was quickly becoming the most added player in nearly all fantasy league formats.  The lightly heralded Florida Marlin third baseman started the year on a 15-for-29 hitting tear, good for a .517 average.

Since our fateful proclamation, Bonifacio has established himself as a mere human being, batting just .083 (2-24) over the past seven days. Time to send him back on the waiver wire.

On to this week’s big names.

Players you need to have:

Orlando Hudson, 2B. The number-two hitter in the Los Angeles Dodgers’ lineup, Hudson is well on his way to a career year if he can keep up his hot start. Nestled comfortably behind leadoff man Rafael Furcal and three-hitter Manny Ramirez, Hudson is seeing a lot of good pitches to hit and is capitalizing on the opportunities afforded him. Expect a veteran like Hudson to keep making good on the strikes thrown his way and go pick him up if you still have the chance.

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Fantasy Island: Helping you with your made-up baseball team

Brandon Inge
Brandon Inge

There are few things I am truly good at, but one of them is fantasy baseball.  I’ve been participating in leagues for over a decade, and won my first league on my first try. That was when I was 14 years old, I’m 24 now.

I’ve played in nearly every format of league you could imagine. Rotisserie, head-to-head, points, keeper, the list goes on.

The difference between me and fantasy “experts” is I’m not getting paid to give you any advice, so my assistance comes pressure-free. I’m only telling you how to improve your team because I want to, not because I have to. The one and only valuable think being staked on this advice is my reputation; not a paycheck, not a career.

So you should already know that my advice is the most pure, most clean, and most worthy advice you could possibly receive. My advice is untouched, unscathed, and wearing a chastity belt.

This will be a weekly piece throughout the season, so keep checking back when you need help.

Players you need to have:

Brandon Inge, C/3B. The Detroit Tiger is off to a scorching start and is entrenched at the hot corner for the Motown Cats. That means that Inge, who has struggled when shuffled between positions, should be able to concentrate fully on his hitting as he becomes more and more comfortable as the everyday third baseman. With his eligibility at catcher, in most leagues, Inge becomes an even more valuable commodity and should be worthy of a starting spot, at least until this power surge ends.

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SSN Fantasy Baseball League: Both Nate and myself will be hosting a Seattle Sportsnet fantasy baseball league for the coming season for those of you interested. We will be setting up a free, 12-team league through ESPN, and this will be your chance to take on the pseudo-experts. If you’d like to join, send us an email at seattlesportsnet@gmail.com and we’ll hook you up with all the info.

Continue reading to hear about Google PageRank, Bud Selig, and more…
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