Tag Archives: East Coast Bias

A Rant About East Coast Bias

As a paid member of the sports media, you have one task: watch sports often enough to speak knowledgeably about it. That is it. That’s all you have to do. You don’t have a tough job like clowns (“I need you to put all this makeup on, along with this ridiculous outfit, then go babysit these kids for the next hour!”), or lion tamers (“I need you to make sure this lion doesn’t kill anyone!”), or even burger-flippers (“I need you to make sure these burgers don’t burn, taste great, and make it safely onto these here buns!”). No, your job is the dream of every sports-loving American ever. So when you suck at it, you deserve to have your ass reamed by punks like me.

I’m talking to you East Coast media. You no-talent ass-clowns, you. Is it so hard to watch sports and talk about them? Huh? Is it? Because I know MILLIONS of Americans that would like to kick you to the curb and take your duties from you. And there have to be hundreds of thousands of us that are capable of doing it, too. Your complacency astounds me and it’s an insult to every sports fan in this great nation of ours.

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Wayne Chism’s headband, and other things that bother me in sports

A list of things that bother me in the world of sports.

nocanada-The Canadian National Anthem at sporting events. Let’s face it, Canada.  Without America, you’re nothing.  Instead of playing the Canadian National Anthem before games, we should just play the Star Spangled Banner twice.  Once for America, and once for our mooching cousin to the north.

-White boy college basketball players that play really, really hard but aren’t that good. These are the same people who will one day follow you home and kick your ass after you accidentally cut them off on the highway.  They’re willing to fight you over the answer to a trivia question, and are way too intense about the little things in life, like cupcakes…”THOSE ARE BEAUTIFUL CUPCAKES!!!”  Calm down, big fella.

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