Tag Archives: Dwyane Wade

The Miami Menage: Did LeBron’s Mama Boink D-Wade and Bosh, Too?

You have to be asking yourself this question after Thursday night’s “Decision.” It’s a legitimate inquiry. We already know that Mrs. James got with Delonte West at some point. So what’s to stop her from engaging in a little three-way with her son’s newest teammates?

What I really want to know is if she got a sampling from all of LeBron’s suitors. Six teams came calling for The King’s services. Did she fool around with Blake Griffin, too? What about Eddy Curry’s BBW ass? How ’bout a little Brook Lopez (Blo-pez, to the uninitiated)? These are the hardball topics that Jim Gray failed to broach. Come on, Jim. Do your job.

The consensus ruling we can take away from all this is that someone affiliated with the Heat has mad skills in the bedroom. Everybody knows that to get to LeBron, you gotta get to his mama. And I figure between D-Wade or the other newest Miami baller, Chris Bosh, one (or both) of them got the job done. Call it a Cleveland Steamer, if you will. Boom, roasted.

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The Bottom 11

You’ve seen ESPN’s Not Top 10.  This is a lot like that, except it’s one better and has a different name.  The Bottom 11 is the foil to our Top 11, a list of the 11 least awesome things to happen over the course of the past week in sports.  Enjoy.

11. Alex Rodriguez lies while trying to clarify the truth.  Remember those steroids A-Rod allegedly ingested?  The ones that are illegal here, but as he claims, legal in the Dominican Republic?  Apparently, the D.R. has no idea what he’s talking about, since the performance-enhancers he came clean about are, in fact, illegal in the mother land as well.  When does the lying stop?

10. Texas Tech QB Graham Harrell runs a 5.07 40-yard dash time at NFL combine.  No one ever accused the former Red Raider of being quick, but 5.07?  That’s a bad high school time.  Out of the way Graham, the senior citizen walkathon needs to pass you.

Perhaps he takes his running pointers from Mike Leach
Perhaps he takes his running pointers from Mike Leach

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