Tag Archives: Donkey Watch

Donkey Watch: Days 2 and 3

Jettisoned from the starting lineup and relegated to a seat in the dugout, Donkey Watch has taken a turn for the worse for all involved. Donkey is quickly moving toward irrelevance, while the Watch is akin to a grass-growing vigil.

Manager Eric Wedge, having acknowledged that he is aware of what fans think of Donkey, did his best to protect the one-time third baseman by locking him up in the stable for a few days.

“He’s been real good on the bench,” quipped Wedge, in an apparent attempt at humor or something.

The move is only temporary, as Donkey will be returning to the lineup sometime in the near future, toting all the luggage in those saddlebags along with him — a .190 batting average, a lackluster defensive effort, and the ability to turn a rowdy crowd of spectators into a sullen group of hecklers with each trip to the plate.

For it’s ONE, TWO, THREE strikes you’re…booing his goofy little ass back to the bench.

Continue reading Donkey Watch: Days 2 and 3

Donkey Watch: Day 1

In order to keep things fresh and lively around these parts, I’d like to introduce a new segment entitled Donkey Watch.

Donkey Watch is a daily, in-depth look at Seattle Mariners third baseman Chone Figgins, also known as Donkey from Shrek.

Because we’re on a mission to get Figgins to Japan (much like the jettisoning of Kenji Johjima a few years ago, which essentially saved the team from having to cut their losses, rid themselves of a dispensable player, and pay out a hefty severance), we figured we’d do our neighbors to the east a favor and give them an insider’s perspective on their future superstar.

I’ll be honest, I don’t really have a plan for Donkey Watch. It’s bound to be ludicrous, and we’ll just see where the wind takes us. If you have any tips on Donkey’s doings for the day, feel free to email them my way, or hit me up on on Facebook or Twitter.

Without further ado…

Continue reading Donkey Watch: Day 1