Tag Archives: Detroit Tigers

The Complete Destruction of Tony Randazzo’s Wikipedia Page

BvQ-vcqCIAAe_HoPoor Tony Randazzo. All he wanted to do was show up to Detroit’s Comerica Park, umpire a few baseball games, and go back to his sexless marriage. Instead, Lloyd Motherf’in McClendon got in the way. Damn you, Lloyd.

The weekend was not kind to the 15-year veteran of Major League Baseball’s officiating crew, who was tested not once but twice by the Mariners skipper.

First, McClendon had the gall to defend his ace pitcher, Felix Hernandez, on Saturday night, inquiring about Randazzo’s peculiar strike zone, which closely resembled the size and shape of Kim Kardashian’s posterior.

Then — and this is where it gets really egregious — McClendon brazenly waved his hand from the confines of the team’s first base dugout after Randazzo botched a call on a check swing by a Tigers batter during Sunday’s contest. For both his offenses, Seattle’s manager was booted from consecutive games.

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Mariners Deal Fister, Land Furbush

I don’t really have much to say. I just wanted to make sure I got to use “Fister” and “Furbush” in a headline once in my life.

I’ll be honest. I’m sad to see the Doug Fister era end. Doug, we hardly knew ye. I made the photo you see to your left a little over a year ago. Barely got to use it. Never got around to t-shirts or anything. Now it’s Detroit’s to have fun with.

So much for my Double Fister Night at Safeco Field. Mariners never could find a way to make that one happen. Two-for-one beers would have been great.

I saw two girls at the Mariners game last night, in fact, each wearing Fister jerseys. I can only imagine how they feel right now. Probably in quite a bit of pain.

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M’s Crap On Themselves After Rain Delay

Mariners Tigers BaseballYou likely didn’t see the game anyways, since it started at 10:00 AM Pacific time this morning.

But even if you started watching the slugfest, you were probably gone by the bottom of the sixth inning, following a rain delay that forced FSN to broadcast all the garbage they usually show during the middle of the weekday.

And then as soon as they got back to playing again, the Mariners decided they had had enough. They promptly allowed the Tigers to score three runs in the sixth, then gave them two more in the bottom of the ninth.

All told, Detroit racked up seven runs, including five after the soggy intermission.

The M’s tallied six behind four longballs (off the bats of Jose Lopez, Kenji Johjima, Russell Branyan, and Mike Sweeney), all coming before the delay.

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