Tag Archives: Dan McGwire

Top 11: Things you will NEVER hear Seattle sports fans say

sene2I apologize to anyone who may have accidentally uttered any of these statements over the years. It doesn’t mean you’re not a true Seattle sports fan, it just means you have some work to do. Nobody’s perfect.

11. “It’s a boy! And we shall name him Mouhamed!” Sorry, Sene.

10. “Bobblehead night, huh? No, sorry, I can’t go.” Ichiro’s fifty different bobbleheads hate you.

9. “Look, there he is! Husky Legend Casey Paus!” Eh…that was almost unwarranted.

8. “Thanks to Seattle’s new transportation system, everyone can get to the game for free!” Even George Jetson had a laugh at that one.

7. “Yes! The yellow hydro always wins!” Green for life! Red is the enemy!

6. “Oh, that? That’s just my Dan McGwire shrine.” Right next to your portrait of Rich King, no less.

5. “Two World Series tickets, please.” I need to wipe my tears now.

4. “There it is, son. One of Seattle’s greatest landmarks. We renovated it in 2011.” No, thank you, Washington State government.

3. “Honey, have you seen my Ayala jersey?” It’s right next to your Richie Sexson commemorative chucking helmet.

2. “Bill Bavasi told me to.” The answer to the question, “Why did you draft five closers in the first five rounds of our fantasy draft?”

1. “God bless Nick Licata.” Possible substitutes for Licata include Greg Nickels, Frank Chopp, or Christine Gregoire.

The Top 11: Seattle draft busts of the past 25 years, #1

The first five on our list of the Top 11 Seattle draft busts can be found here, while numbers 6-2 are located here. To recap, the first ten individuals on our list are as follows: 11, Robert Swift/Johan Petro/Mouhamed Sene; 10, Ryan Christianson; 9, Sherell Ford; 8, Rick Mirer; 7, Patrick Lennon; 6, Roger Salkeld; 5, Scottie Pippen; 4, Rich King; 3, Brian Bosworth; 2, Ryan Anderson. And now, our number one Seattle draft bust of the past 25 years: Dan McGwire.

1. Dan McGwire. I almost considered just leaving this piece blank. There’s not much to say about Dan McGwire, and chances are if you hear his name these days you either laugh or cringe or both. First of all, he’s Mark McGwire’s little brother, which used to be a joke until we found out that Mark was a cheater and steroid user. Without the ‘roids, Mark may only have been as talented as Dan, we’ll never know for sure. With the ‘roids, however, Mark was a beast-and-a-half, leading fans to wonder whether Dan should have gotten on the juice as well. It definitely couldn’t have hurt.

For those of you unfamiliar with the enigma that is Dan McGwire, let’s quickly recap his short-lived NFL career. McGwire, a product of the football machine that is San Diego State University, was the 16th overall pick by the Seahawks in the 1991 NFL Draft. A 6’5″ quarterback with a rocket arm, McGwire was labeled the future of the Hawks franchise despite the presence of surefire veteran Dave Krieg under center.

McGwire was expected to emerge as the starter in 1992 with the departure of Krieg, but underwhelmed and eventually sunk to third on the depth chart behind the infamous duo of Stan Gelbaugh and Kelly Stouffer. In his first two seasons, McGwire recorded four interceptions to zero touchdown passes. The Seahawks, sensing a disturbance in the force, selected yet another franchise quarterback in the 1993 draft, this time going after the can’t-miss Rick Mirer. Following the conclusion of the 1994 season, McGwire’s tenure was over in Seattle and he remained in the league for one more year with Miami before hanging it up in 1995.

Now I’d like to sum up McGwire’s career by paraphrasing an Old Spice commercial. Dan McGwire was two things: a bust, and a white guy with a jheri-curl mullet.