Tag Archives: Carlos Silva

Don’t Worry, Mariner Fans: Jim Hendry Has Your Back

“Obviously we’re dealing with a man at this stage of his career who’s not willing to face the facts. What he’s done for the last few years in his career, except for a two-month period, is way below major league standards. And he seems to have the continual problem [of] blaming everybody but himself.” –Chicago Cubs General Manager Jim Hendry, on former Mariners pitcher Carlos Silva.

In an unfortunate turn of events, the Chicago Cubs released Carlos Silva on Sunday, losing their battle of “Who Can Hang Onto Their Troublemaker Longer” chicken with the Mariners. You may recall that the M’s acquired left fielder Milton Bradley from the Cubs just one season ago in exchange for the portly Silva; the swap was largely heralded as a trade of one problem for the other. While Bradley remains in the Mariners’ 2011 plans, Silva is currently unemployed and probably more concerned about how he’ll afford his next meal.

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Nolan Ryan-Smith And The M’s Keep Winning

At least the Mariners don’t have to worry about half-naked hermaphrodites running through their clubhouse at all hours of the day. That’s what happened in New York, where Lady Gaga steamrolled her way into the Yankees’ dressing room following a loss on Sunday afternoon. Sources indicate that the pop star was wearing a bra, underpants, a baseball jersey and little else at the time. Apparently, she started chatting up second baseman Robinson Cano, who said afterwards that, “She can sing, I’ll tell you that.” Yeah, Robinson. I hear she has a real nice baritone.

The closest thing to Lady Gaga in the M’s locker room is FSN reporter Jen Mueller, who has two sweater pillows but likely no penis. I mean, as far we can tell. I don’t want to overstep my bounds in assuming things. (And for the record, if you missed Jen’s interview with comedian Joel McHale during Friday night’s broadcast, you need to find it and you need to watch it. It’s hilarious.)

Ambiguous body parts aside, the hometown nine is doing their very best right now to attract international music stars to Safeco Field by at least attempting to become relevant once again. They’ve taken four games in a row, including a three-game sweep of the NL Central-leading Cincinnati Reds.

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I’ve Never Been So Happy To See Milton Bradley

Back in the United States after an eight-day trip to the Caribbean. Hanging out in South Carolina for the next week before returning to Seattle after Christmas.

And in other news, I just found out we traded Carlos Silva for Milton Bradley and now need to buy Jack Zduriencik lunch. I’ll wait my turn behind the M’s chef, who likely had his workload cut in half with Silva’s departure.

Man, what a week. And I wasn’t even in the area to be a part of it. First Chone Figgins, then Cliff Lee, and now the departure of Silva and subsequent arrival of Milton Bradley.

I’ll admit I’ve never thought much of Milton Bradley. He has a reputation as a troublemaker and has been inconsistent as all hell throughout his career. But damn if I don’t love him like a son today. I feel like Randy Quaid and his buddies in Major League II. You know, when the Indians sign Jack Parkman before the season starts. One of those guys admits to hating Parkman prior to the team acquiring him, then professes his newfound love for the catcher as a result of his uniform change. That’s basically how I feel about Milton Bradley now.

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Get Your Tickets To The Carlos Silva Show!

carlossilva2This press release was issued by the Everett Aquasox today. Don’t laugh. They’re not trying to be funny. And they don’t appreciate you mocking them.

In its full context:

Carlos Silva Set to Appear for AquaSox

The right-hander last pitched in the Majors on May 6

EVERETT, Wash.- Seattle Mariners right-hander Carlos Silva will make a rehab appearance for the Everett AquaSox against the Vancouver Canadians Tuesday night.

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The Imminent (And Unfortunate) Return Of Carlos Silva

Changeup? I'm thinking cheeseburger.
Changeup? I'm thinking cheeseburger.

Remember Carlos Silva? Burly guy, bloated contract, rubenesque ERA, fat pitches?

How could you forget, right?

The guy who was the bane of every Mariner fan’s existence for the first month of the season is on his way back to baseball beginning today. Crap.

Just when things were starting to go well, we get this piece of bad news. This is kind of like finding out you contracted an STD about a week before prom. It sucks.

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Carlos Silva should donate large chunk of salary to charity

carlos-silva1Carlos Silva is making $12,000,000 this year, which is roughly 240 times the national average salary.

Of course, that’s figuring the average annual salary in America is $50,000, which it probably isn’t. It’s probably closer to $40,000, but we’ll use $50K as the benchmark to give Carlos the benefit of the doubt.

Silva is currently one of the worst starting pitchers in the major leagues. He has a 1-2 record with an ERA over 7.00, and is currently getting his butt whipped by a light-hitting Kansas City Royals squad.

All this comes on the heels of a 2008 season in which the burly right-hander posted a 4-15 win-loss record, with a 6.46 ERA.

Perhaps the worst part of all this is that Silva is only in the second year of a four-year, $48 million contract that former Mariners general manager Bill Bavasi unwisely signed him to.

What I want is for Carlos to make the situation right by donating a large chunk of that hefty salary to charity. Because let’s face it, he hasn’t earned one penny of that $12 million. I’d say at least $2 million in donations would be the minimum, but more money would certainly be justified.

There are a lot of hardworking individuals struggling with the economy the way it is, and while Carlos is entitled to his yearly earnings, he shouldn’t feel comfortable making as much money as he is with the piss-poor performance he’s turned in so far.

Undoubtedly, Silva will be destined for the bullpen at some point, probably for the remainder of the season, and that’s all well and good.

But I’m clamoring for him to do what’s right with the dollars and cents he’ll be unjustly raking in. You can still salvage your reputation, Carlos. We can all make a difference.

Three Keys To The Mariners Playoff Run

carlossilva
Will he or won't he turn things around?

They’re winning when nobody thought they would. Not the analysts, not the numbers guys, not the fans, not even the most optimistic of Kool-Aid drinkers. The Mariners are defying the odds by winning ballgame after ballgame, and in the process maintaining an iron-clad grip on first place in the American League West.

If they’re going to make a run at the playoffs and keep on winning throughout the summer, they’re going to need to tweak a few things along the way. We’ve come up with three big areas of concern that need to be addressed by the Seattle brass if this team intends to continue the ride all season long.

1. Consistent starting pitching, one-through-five. Right now, the Mariners have three consistent starting pitchers in the forms of Felix Hernandez, Erik Bedard, and Jarrod Washburn. They also have two very inconsistent slots in that five-man rotation in the forms of Carlos Silva, and the fifth-starter tandem of Chris Jakubauskas and the currently injured Ryan Rowland-Smith.

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