Tag Archives: BYU

Irrational Game Predictions: BYU vs. UW

The game as it would happen in my dreams. Because my dreams are BANGIN!

Quarter 1

After winning the coin flip and deferring, the Huskies kick off to start the game. As Erik Folk tees up the football, a buzz emerges from the opposite end of the stadium. A streaker darts across the field. Play is momentarily halted as security guards chase after the streaker, who manages to avoid them while running 100 yards untouched to the opposite goal post. He continues running down a tunnel and out of sight. The streaker is later identified as Harvey Unga. Play resumes.

Folk kicks it away and the ball sails five yards deep into the end zone. The BYU return man brings the ball out and is subsequently flattened on the one-yard line by a gang of Huskies who comment on the return man’s sister while they have him pinned to the turf. The return man staggers to his feet, content to repress his anger for the time being.

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The Huskies Are Going To Destroy BYU

I don’t like BYU. I’m sure I’m not the only one. But really, they bother me to a ridiculous degree.

For starters, their institution is founded on exclusionary principles. If you’re not Mormon, you’re not welcome. Unless you can run the football. And then we’ll consider allowing you to play for us despite the fact that you’re an outsider. It’s only slightly hypocritical, I suppose, but it’s hypocritical nonetheless. And just generally messed up as a whole. Considering they didn’t allow minorities to attend the university until they found out that, lo and behold, people of color were athletically gifted, I’d say we have reason to call them out for their segregational practices.

Second, you have their fans. I hate their fans. They rank right up there with Boise State fans, who as we all know are the devil. The only difference between BYU fans and Boise State fans is that BYU fans spend their free time petitioning the FCC to take Family Guy off the air. Don’t act like you haven’t done that, BYU fans. We know your tricks.

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Dear BYU: You Need To Recruit This Kid

mercadoThe look on his face says he’d be perfect for your school.

This article also shows his willingness to do whatever it takes to kick.

It’s not every day we hype up prep athletes with bright futures.

But this kid, Cameron Mercado, looks like perfect BYU material. Just gotta get that crazy look in his eye out of there. And whatever it is he’s storing in his cheeks.

*Special thanks to Jeremy for passing along the linked article.

Jake Heaps to BYU? Bad choice

jakeheaps2Take away the allegiance I have towards the University of Washington, for a minute, and let me give you one reason why Jake Heaps choosing BYU over the likes of Washington, California, LSU, and Tennessee is a bad choice: His future.

The fact is, only one school on Heaps’ short list of final college choices runs an offensive system that doesn’t translate well to the pro game. Naturally, that school is BYU.

Unlike the four other schools on this list, which all utilize pro-style offensive sets, BYU operates in a system that looks a lot like the spread, a gimmicky offense that has rarely produced high-caliber quarterbacks at the next level. Interestingly enough, Heaps currently operates in a spread offense at Skyline (Sammamish, WA) High School, where he helped lead the Spartans to a 2008 Class 4A State Championship.

I can’t imagine that Heaps doesn’t want to play in the NFL. Ideally, that’s the dream of every collegiate football player, and a talent like Heaps is likely no exception. So why choose BYU, then?

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