Tag Archives: Baseball

Six Radical Ways Baseball Can Be Improved Right Now

Baseball has spent much of the past decade looking for ways to speed up games, increase attendance, and attract a younger viewership. They’ve implemented changes like limiting mound visits, installing pitch clocks, and utilizing instant replay. But with each little change, few of the desired outcomes have been achieved. Games haven’t sped up all that much, attendance is about the same, and younger viewers are still gravitating towards other sports, like basketball and soccer.

So what’s baseball to do? They need help, and they need it fast. That’s why we’re here with some new ideas that will rock the boat and disrupt an entire industry. Some of these ideas are really stupid and mostly just serve as vehicles for throwaway jokes that the world would otherwise never read. But within the inanity there may be a gem or two. And before you ask, yes, alcohol was involved when this was written.

1. An expanded strike zone for pitchers who throw under 90 MPH

It seems like every big league pitcher throws his fastball 95-plus these days. Sure, velocity is fun to watch, but is it really fair to those guys who rely on finesse and savvy to get by? No, it is not.

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The Truth Behind Baseball and Blind Optimism

If you want my unsolicited advice, I suggest you ignore all the experts this time of year and focus on baseball for all its enjoyable intangibles. Most of all, the blind optimism it perpetuates, which is what I’m here today to promote.

Blind optimism is good for you. It keeps you fresh, keeps you happy. Without it, we’d just be a bunch of know-it-all pessimists resigned to our fates day in and day out. Who needs that?

Let me tell you something. I have a dog. He’s 356 days old. His name is Dug. He’s the most blindly optimistic individual I know, human or otherwise. He’s also the happiest individual I know. This, in spite of the fact that he only eats twice a day, has no testes, has to go outside to relieve himself, owns but one clothing item (a University of Washington football jersey), retains no possessions save for a few toys and a collar, has no girlfriend, never has sex, is color blind, rarely bathes, and is not big enough to ride any roller coaster at any theme park ever. He’s also banned from most public places and lacks thumbs.

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