Tag Archives: Athletic Supporters

Athletic Supporters Send Jerry Brewer to Bullets

shvxAs the owner, general manager, and sometimes point guard of a rec team of increasingly unathletic amateur basketball players, I’m here today to formally announce the sad news of the departure of a fellow Athletic Supporter teammate of mine.

Jerry Brewer, who supplemented his time as a power shooting center by moonlighting as a columnist for The Seattle Times, has been dealt to the Washington (D.C.) Bullets, ending his tenure with the Supporters. The move will subsequently necessitate a career change for Brewer, who will be leaving the Times for a similar position at The Washington Post.

In his time with the Supporters, Brewer emerged as a favorite of the team’s five or six fans. Recognized for his matching green warmup suits, as well as his inability to corral wayward behind-the-back passes from guard Ryan Divish, Brewer etched himself into rec league lore by successfully bringing back the spectacle sport strap, not seen since Kurt Rambis last played in the NBA.

Brewer may best be remembered in Seattle for his time spent off the court, however.

Occasionally penning stories that geriatrics loved to forward via “the internet mail” to their grandkids, Brew established himself as one of the most respected voices of the sports fan in the Pacific Northwest.

When he wasn’t waxing poetic about athletics for the Times, Brewer seized the opportunity to start a family, seducing a woman, marrying her, spawning a son, and even adopting a kitten. He also made time for his buddies, often showing up to local watering holes in crisp sport coats while everyone else donned tattered t-shirts and worn jeans.

For this scribe, at least, Brewer will be remembered as a friend and confidant who helped foster an ability to piece words together in a captivating way. While anyone can write, Brew would devote entire afternoons to sitting at a bar, discussing life, and inspiring the ideas that materialized into print for a twenty-something lazy-ass. That he once triumphantly captained a mission to get that same lazy-ass to 1,000 followers on Twitter will never be forgotten, either.

As our pal departs for the other Washington, we remember karaoke renditions of Gin and Juice, a knack for incorrectly spelling words that describe acts of human nature, and that one time a whiny kid on an opposing team threw a basketball at Brewer for reasons unknown.

Jerry, no matter what all the internet haters say, we don’t think you’re weird at all. In fact, we’ll miss you. And we wish you well as you depart your adoptive home for a new adventure.

In exchange for Brewer, the Bullets will send 48-year-old forward/center Pervis Ellison, who averaged 20 points and 11 rebounds in the 1991-1992 season, to Seattle.


Some Things I Would Like To See

Here is a list of things I would like to see happen. Enjoy.

Side Note: These things are numbered for no particular reason.

1. I would like to see Jenn Sterger talk about Brett Favre’s penis.

This would accomplish a number of things.

One, it would be really funny to those of us who still giggle at the word “penis.”

Two, it would destroy Favre’s reputation of being a guy who doesn’t show his penis.

Three, it would destroy Favre’s reputation in every other way, as well.

Four, it would validate what we already know. Which is that Favre really did send pictures of his babymaker to Sterger, in hopes that she would find it sexually appealing. Right. Because everyone enjoys gray pubes.

2. I would like to see political ads that are truthful, yet scathing.

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The 24-Hour Push To Get Barack Obama To Play Ball With Us

What are the odds that we can get Barack Obama and his staff to play basketball with my rec team, the Athletic Supporters? The Prez happens to be arriving in Seattle tonight (Wednesday) and will be leaving some time on Thursday. Regardless of his geographic proximity, I would have to imagine that the odds of him running with us are not very good at all. Probably like one-in-a-million (So you’re tellin’ me there’s a chance…).

I’m gonna give it a shot anyways, by using Twitter as my medium. You can follow me on Twitter (@alexssn) as I harass Barack (@BarackObama), attempting to coerce him into a pickup game with the best recreational basketball team on the planet.

I know two things. One, we won’t lose. And two, Barack and his staff probably don’t have the confidence to run with us. We’re good. And Reggie Love ain’t nothin’.

Let’s go, Barack.

Two Programming Notes

One, if you haven’t made plans to attend The Athletic Supporters Basketball Showcase this evening, I highly recommend this opportunity for free entertainment (click here for details). It’s not every day that you get to watch a bunch of grown men run around in shorts and tank tops trying to rekindle their glory years. It should be a lot of fun for everyone.

Two, on Wednesday I will be appearing on 950 KJR AM with Ian Furness at 1:20 p.m. for a social media roundtable. Joining me will be Ryan Divish from the Tacoma News-Tribune, Chris Fetters from Dawgman.com, and Jason Churchill from ProspectInsider.com and ESPN. We will be broadcasting live from Dino’s Pub in North Renton (across the freeway from the Seahawks’ practice facility), so stop by if you get a chance.

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It’s A Party! And Everyone’s Invited!

To view this public event on Facebook, please click here.

The Athletic Supporters are arguably the greatest recreational sports franchise in the history of the world, if not the entire universe. If you haven’t yet learned of their greatness, please go to the following audio clip and scroll to the 2-minute mark, followed shortly thereafter by the 11-minute mark: http://bit.ly/c8ibF6

Don’t act like you’re not impressed. The Athletic Supporters’ fame — nay, infamy — has reached the airwaves of mass media. Are they America’s team? Some would say yes, they are. If nothing else, they’re the Greater Seattle Metro Area and Surrounding Suburbs’ team. Indubitably.

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Shooting For The Sudan: A Charitable Cause

I was playing one-on-one with my good friend Josh on Saturday morning when I pulled up from 25 feet, called out “For the Sudan!” and knocked down a game-winning three-pointer. Anyone who has seen the movie White Men Can’t Jump likely gets the reference. For those who are completely in the dark on what shooting for the Sudan means, please see this UrbanDictionary entry for more information.

While calling out random things on the basketball court might irk some, I’ve found that eliciting non-sensical phrases in the flow of the game only boosts my confidence. I might be a 35-percent three-point shooter when silent. But when talking simultaneously? My average probably doubles.

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