Category Archives: Top 11

Top 11: Twitter Avatars and What They Say About You

twittereggYour Twitter avatar is more than just a picture on a page. It’s a reflection of who you are, and the first thing everyone sees when they come across your profile.

While it may seem like each avatar is unique, there are a number of different categories into which every photo  can fall. Today, we examine the meanings behind 11 of those categories.

What does your Twitter avatar say about you? Let’s find out.

11. The Celebrity

Key Indicator: 

The face of a famous person anyone with two eyes and a brain would recognize.

Profile:

Hey, look, it’s not you. We know it’s not you because we’re pretty sure that’s Ryan Gosling, and you are definitely not Ryan Gosling. If you were Ryan Gosling, you’d likely have more than 74 followers and proudly display a blue-and-white checkmark next to your name. You can’t fool us, Not Ryan Gosling.

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The Top 22 Mariners Promotional Ideas Gone Wrong

centerfield

It’s like two Top 11 lists in one!

22. Danny Farquhar Disappointing Growth Chart Day

Guess what, kids. You’re probably not going to grow to be 6’10” like Chris Young, or even 6’3” like Felix Hernandez. More than likely you’ll stand about 5’9” or so, which is both the average height of the American male and the exact listed height of reliever Danny Farquhar. We’re not here to lie to you or falsely inflate your hopes. Instead, we’ll just give you this disappointing Farquhar growth chart and watch you blossom into a really mediocre adult.

21. Cole Gillespie “Guess Which of These Guys Is Actually A Mariner” Night

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Top 11: Most Awesome Unclaimed ’80s Walk-Up Songs

Brit-Hit2Credit Oakland Athletics outfielder Josh Reddick with making ’80s music relevant among today’s major leaguer hitters and their walk-up song choices. It’s Reddick who has recently been raising eyebrows and inspiring headlines with his selection of George Michael’s Careless Whisper as his at-bat anthem. Though Reddick will surely receive the accolades that come along with making a leap towards owning a libido-arousing romantic soft rock ballad, I like to believe that my earlier Mariners-centric request penetrated Reddick’s consciousness and moved him to take action.

Reddick certainly isn’t the first pro ballplayer to capture the hearts of audiences with a decades-old medley to call his own, but the curious nature of a sentimental tune that so blatantly diverges from the mean of driving, bass-heavy tracks is hard to ignore. Nick Punto, a teammate of Reddick’s, has used The Outfield’s 1985 hit Your Love as his song of choice this season. In years past, journeyman outfielder Michael Morse has delighted fans by employing A-ha’s Take On Me and Eurythmics’ Sweet Dreams, and even before that Ichiro Suzuki once upon a time took to the batter’s box to Michael Jackson’s Thriller.

But it’s clear that the more outrageous one gets with their music selection, the more likely he is to garner some extra attention. That’s why we’ve put together a list of the 11 best ’80s songs still not utilized by major league hitters. What follows is one’s ticket to the hearts (and possibly loins) of millions of adoring onlookers. Dare to be different. Dare to be awesome. Dare to choose one of these songs as your walk-up music.

11. St. Elmo’s Fire (Man In Motion)

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Top 11: Ways You’ve Been Spending the Seahawks Offseason

House_of_Cards_Season_1_PosterFootball season is over and baseball season has yet to begin. We’re fully immersed in that special time of year when basketball and hockey take center stage, which in turn means Seattleites have nothing to do right now.

As a result, you’ve been productively slogging your way through other things that aren’t football since the magic of Super Bowl XLVIII a distant five weeks ago. And what exactly have you been up to? Read on and we’ll find out…

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The Top 35 Twitter Personas We Love To Hate

mackdaddywonkaTwitter. A haven for self-aggrandizing mini-stories. A place for all of us to get together and meet without ever having to see an actual human being. For all the reasons we love Twitter, there are an equal number of reasons we hate it. The following 35 personas are the main contributors to our loathing.

35. The Mack Daddy

Sample tweet: “@HotGirl1 You look beautiful today ;)”

Forty-seven years of life has yielded no spawn for this man. E-Harmony has failed him, while Match.com sadly yielded no matches. He friend requested everybody on Facebook, but only 64 people reluctantly confirmed his acquaintanceship. The last time he had sex was during the Bush administration…Bush Senior, that is. With nowhere left to turn, The Mack Daddy has opted to spread his virtual seed on Twitter. The benefactors of his admiration? Every woman he deems beautiful. Maybe even you. Check your DMs, pretty lady…

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Top 11: Reasons Cliff Avril Freaked Out on the Sidelines During Sunday’s Game

During Sunday’s game against Atlanta, you may have noticed Cliff Avril going ape shit on the sidelines in the second half of an all-but-secured Seahawks victory. Avril appeared to be passionately berating his teammates for reasons unknown to many, including coach Pete Carroll, who said on Monday that he wasn’t sure why his starting defensive end was so upset.

We may never get to the bottom of the Cliff Avril freak-out, but we can surmise at least 11 reasons why Avril acted the way he did. At the very least, I think we can all relate.

Why was Avril so angry? Well…

11. All those Candy Crush invites on Facebook.

“I don’t want to play Candy Crush, Richard! STOP SENDING ME INVITES! I WILL DE-FRIEND YOU!”

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Top 11: Reasons the San Francisco 49ers Suck

sourdoughsamHere’s a list we narrowed down from one-billion. Enjoy.

11. Frank Gore sucks.

He scored a 6 on the Wonderlic test…out of a possible 50. His showing ranks as one of the worst all-time scores in Wonderlic history.

Rather than calling out coverages, perhaps Seahawks linebackers should pepper San Francisco’s running back with stupid questions before the snap. “Hey Frank! Spell all forms of the word ‘there.’ All forms, Frank! Not just one. And then use each form in a sentence so we know you’re not bullshitting us.”

10. Their mascot sucks.

Did you know that the Niners’ mascot is a cartoonish cowboy named Sourdough Sam? Probably not, since Sourdough Sam is the stupidest name ever. I imagine a cowboy named Sourdough Sam would be the first one to die of dysentery on the Oregon Trail. Or worse, he’d drown in the very first river you forded.

Continue reading Top 11: Reasons the San Francisco 49ers Suck