Category Archives: NFL

Just When You Think Chad Ochocinco Couldn’t Possibly Be Any Dumber…

ochocinco…He goes and does something like this, and TOTALLY REDEEMS HIMSELF! To quote Dumb and Dumber.

Really, how can you not love Chad Johnson-Ochocinco after a move like that? Buying up all the unsold tickets to prevent a blackout of Sunday’s Bengals game. That’s class.

To top it off, Chad went out and purchased 40 tickets to give away to anyone interested in seeing Law Abiding Citizen tonight, too.

What a guy. Call him a distraction or a diva if you must, but there are times when the man has his brilliant moments in life. And these are two of them.

The Breaking Of Larry Johnson

larryjohnsonEveryone knows that Larry Johnson is having a bad year.

The Kansas City Chiefs starting tailback has put up measley numbers despite ample opportunity in five games this season.

Johnson, who rushed for over 1,700 yards in both 2005 and 2006, has had an up and down career marked by inconsistency and, most notably, a couple scrapes with the law.

Even still, nobody deserves an assessment like this. Even if it is 100% statistical fact.

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Rush Limbaugh, American Citizen, Has Every Right To Buy An NFL Team

rushlimbaughIf Rush Limbaugh wants to buy a football team, then he should be allowed to buy a football team.  Why the hell not, right? The guy has the funds to do so, he’s not a criminal, and it is within his right as an American citizen to be able to make a legal purchase of property that is, in turn, legally and willingly sold to him.

This whole “Ban Rush” fest is getting ridiculously out of hand. It seems like every single person on the planet wants to keep him from spending his money as he wishes. I don’t even like the guy. But I respect his right to exchange currency for goods and services within the confines of our nation.

Limbaugh is a controversial figure, there’s no getting around that. He has made a living ripping other individuals, essentially turning himself into a target for scrutiny in the process. He has said some things that cannot ever be atoned for, that have tarnished the image he seemingly cares little about, and that have led to this whirlwind of speculation over his potential ownership of the NFL’s St. Louis Rams.

Continue reading Rush Limbaugh, American Citizen, Has Every Right To Buy An NFL Team

Top 11: Signs Your Fantasy Football Team Sucks

Have you seen this man? Neither have I.
Have you seen this man? Neither have I.

In this era of fantasy athletics, there are always going to be fantasy winners and fantasy losers. You strive to be a winner, but more often than not you lose. And you don’t know why.

Lucky for you, we’ve got your answers.

From sleepers to sure-things, we all make mistakes. The first step towards success is admitting we’ve made mistakes, correcting those mistakes, and moving forward from those mistakes.

Nobody is perfect and we all have our flaws. Together, we can overcome just about anything. Even Tarvaris Jackson.

On to the list…

11. Your sleepers are still sleeping

The “experts” told you to take chances on guys like Josh Morgan, Derrick Ward, and Nate Washington. Whoops. Guess they were wrong.

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Top 11: Fantasy Football Players We Love To Hate

anthonygonzalez2Every year around this time, millions of Americans kick off fantasy football season. After months of scouting, drafting, adding, and dropping, all the blood, sweat, tears, and hand cramps that go along with preparing for a new year of fake football become absolutely worthwhile.

Amidst all the pomp and circumstance of the moment is a group of real-life football players that are seemingly brought to this earth to torment the fictional locker rooms of our made-up ballclubs. They may be superstars who absolutely murder the opposition, big-name Pro Bowl-types who can’t get it done on paper, or the projected fantasy studs that can’t step their game up.

No matter who they are, we all can agree that they are deserving of our hatred. Which is why we’ve narrowed the group down and present for your enjoyment a list of the Top 11 Fantasy Football Players We Love To Hate.

*Editor’s Note: This list only includes active NFL players. So sorry, Shaun Alexander, but you don’t qualify.

11. Anthony Gonzalez, WR, Indianapolis Colts

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It’s Just A Sweet, Sweet Fantasy, Baby

Slaton couldn't even rush for his jersey number in Week One
Slaton couldn't even rush for his jersey number in Week One

Week one of the NFL season is less than 24 hours from being in the books, which means it’s time to talk fantasy football. Because if there’s one thing I know and want to talk about, it’s what I like to call The Three F’s: Fantasy F*cking Football.

You’re probably wondering why you should trust anything I have to say about fantasy when there are guys out there like Matthew Berry (nerd alert) and Brandon Funston (he works for Yahoo, which is the Detroit Lions of sports info websites) who make a living out of talking about fake football. The difference between guys like that and guys like me is that I can tell you the truth, while they have to worry about the repercussions of pissing off real-life football players who might eat their children if anything bad about said player is published.

Me, I’ve got two legs to stand on and eight fantasy teams, plus one survivor pool, and one Pac-10 league to worry about. If Steve Slaton is upset with me because I need his ass to put up numbers, then so be it. Bring it, Steve.

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Nothing Says “I Love You” Like A Picture Of Sean Salisbury’s Penis

56685883CA008_Super_Bowl_XLOnce upon a time, Sean Salisbury got in trouble at ESPN for (allegedly) taking pictures of his penis and texting (or “sexting,” as the kids say) them to female coworkers. Oops.

Apparently, Salisbury — who has since been let go by the sports media giant — didn’t get the message the first time around: SEAN, IT IS NOT OKAY TO TAKE PICTURES OF YOUR PENIS AND SEND THEM TO WOMEN FROM YOUR CELL PHONE. NOT OKAY!

As of Friday, the former NFL quarterback has been terminated from his job at a Dallas radio station for (allegedly) doing the exact same thing he did at ESPN. Oops again.

Two things to take away from this.

Continue reading Nothing Says “I Love You” Like A Picture Of Sean Salisbury’s Penis