Category Archives: Headlines

Headlines

Danica’s tat taken out of latest SI bikini shoot.  I know.  I read that wrong the first time too.

Selig: Don’t blame me for steroids.  Bud: Don’t blame me for telling you to go f*ck yourself.

Nats prospect Esmailyn Gonzalez falsified name, age.  He said he was 19.  He’s actually 23-year-old Carlos Lugo.  My first clue would have been “Esmailyn.”

Nate Robinson goes for 32 and 10 against Spurs.  Boo.  Yah.

Texas Tech’s Leach could be fired for not signing extension.  File that away under “Problems Tyrone Willingham Will Never Have.”

Hornets trade Tyson Chandler to Thunder.  Welcome to Hell!  The locker room is down the hall, right next to the Fiery Pit of Eternal Doom.  Remember New Orleans?  Remember Chris Paul?  That was fun, wasn’t it?  Well, that’s all over now, allow me to introduce you to Earl Watson….

Saints cut McAllister.  ESPN didn’t have the balls to title this “Saints Drop a Deuce.”

Headlines

Ortiz wants juicers to face one-year ban. Boston Red Sox designated hitter (and former Mariner farmhand) David Ortiz says he wants those baseball players who test positive for steroids to be suspended for one year.  This means that a) Ortiz doesn’t use steroids b) Ortiz used to use steroids, but no longer does (possible, considering a drop in production the last few years) c) Ortiz uses steroids, but is confident that his piss is clean (very possible, considering modern technology and the advancement of drugs) or d) wants Alex Rodriguez to miss the ’09 season (most likely).

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