*Editor’s note: This article was originally posted on November 6, 2009. You may have missed it, so I’m reposting it. I highly suggest you read it. It’s an amazing depiction of the real-life ridiculousness that goes on in my fantasy football league and my favorite thing on this entire website. Enjoy.
You’ve heard of reality television. This is reality dialogue.
The following is a real-life transcript from a fantasy football message board thread that spiraled ridiculously out of control. Going rapidly from football talk to an internet fisticuffs over a relationship gone awry, this script is the literary embodiment of a Jerry Springer episode.
The setting for our story is the Pearce Fantasy League, a fantasy football legion of 12 men in their early 20s who have spent years competing against one another in the pantheon of made-up sports, while simultaneously becoming friends in the process. I am one of the 12 members of this league, denoted in the transcript as “Alex.”
Though most of us are mutually amicable with one another, one-sixth of the group does not get along. In fact, these two people hate each other. Miserably. Why, you ask? It’s very simple. One individual, who we’ll refer to as “Gorman,” declared his love for a female acquaintance — who we’ll call “Laqueesha,” for the purposes of this exercise — who happened to be in an existing relationship with another male, “Thabo Sefelosha.”
Smitten by Gorman’s advances, Laqueesha left Thabo Sefelosha empty-handed and broken-hearted and ran off with Gorman. Ultimately, Gorman and Laqueesha would wed. Thabo Sefelosha, sadly, would never be the same.
Continue reading Inside The PFL: A Dramatic Script →