All posts by Alex

Karate Emergency, Ep. 41: Slick’s Chicks

iHeartMedia Seattle Staff Photos on December 15, 2015. (Photo by David Conger / davidconger.com)

The Mariners are winning.

The Seahawks are winning.

The Huskies are winning.

We hardly know what to do with ourselves anymore.

In the spirit of all the success, we dial up the only Baltimore Orioles fan we know and talk a little shit before delving into our usual grumpiness, then celebrate the recent triumphs of our local clubs.

In between, we discuss the value of the 12s and sort out Slickhawk’s newfound love life.

All that and more on this week’s Karate Emergency!

Karate Emergency, Ep. 40: Screw Your Pumpkin Spice

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The Mariners season is deader than Bernie from Weekend at Bernie’s and the start of football season is just days away. That leaves us to bridge the gap with a barrel of shenanigans, which is more or less our forte.

It’s time to get grumpy over pumpkin spice lattes, fall weather, first day of school pics, and everything in between. Plus, a new take on Tindermonials, and a celebration of tailgating season.

All that and more on this week’s KE!

 

Hot Mic Catches Mariners Broadcaster Speaking the Truth


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It’s not often during a ballgame you hear a broadcaster say exactly what every fan happens to be thinking.

Lucky for us, a hot microphone and an abrupt return from commercial break caught Mariners announcer Dave Sims in a moment of sheer honesty.

Shortly after M’s left fielder Norichika Aoki unleashed a hideous throw to home plate that sailed all the way to the backstop, Sims had this to say on the ROOT Sports broadcast:

Aoki’s defense rivals that of only James Harden, and his throwing arm would play better at the Little League World Series, so it isn’t surprising to hear someone lament his shortcomings in the field.

And in the end, the terrible throw proved fairly inconsequential, as the Mariners were shut out by the New York Yankees 5-0.

Still, it was pretty awesome hearing a guy paid to watch the team speak the truth, if even for a split second.

Go Sims. Go M’s.

The Mariners’ Gameday Etiquette Dilemma

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It has been fifteen years since the Mariners were really, really good, so forgive us for not knowing how to act in the wake of the team’s recent success.

On Saturday night, as the M’s were on the verge of beating the Milwaukee Brewers, television cameras captured an encounter between a Safeco Field usher and one such member of the Mariners faithful who happened to be cheering on the hometown nine. Video was shared online, and inquiring minds began immediately asking questions and recapping personal accounts of similar brushes with stadium staff.

The organization quickly responded to the uproar, and on Sunday a member of the team’s front office reached out to share details of what took place before and after the recorded incident.

Continue reading The Mariners’ Gameday Etiquette Dilemma

Usher Silences Fans As Mariners Silence Brewers

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It’s rare for the Seattle Mariners to find themselves in a playoff race, but here we are nearing the end of August and the M’s are in the thick of the postseason hunt.

What should be cause for celebration is apparently being muted by Safeco Field’s ushers, many of whom have worked hard over the years to stifle fun in the ballpark.

One such usher went rogue on Saturday night, in the midst of the Mariners’ 8-2 win over Milwaukee.

With two outs in the top of the eighth inning, the tying run at the plate, a full count on batter Chris Carter, and Felix Hernandez on the mound, one would reasonably expect fans to come to their feet and cheer on their ace. Not in this usher’s section, though:

Okay, get past the fact that the fan in question looks like he got lost on his way to The ‘Pen, and focus on his behavior. He’s doing nothing wrong. He’s standing and cheering for his team in a close contest. Why any usher would choose to reprimand the actions of a fan doing exactly what he’s supposed to is a bit confusing.

If anything, the seemingly indifferent crowd around this side show could use a bit of a pick-me-up.

It’s a pennant chase, people. Enjoy it.

Top 11: Twitter Avatars and What They Say About You

twittereggYour Twitter avatar is more than just a picture on a page. It’s a reflection of who you are, and the first thing everyone sees when they come across your profile.

While it may seem like each avatar is unique, there are a number of different categories into which every photo  can fall. Today, we examine the meanings behind 11 of those categories.

What does your Twitter avatar say about you? Let’s find out.

11. The Celebrity

Key Indicator: 

The face of a famous person anyone with two eyes and a brain would recognize.

Profile:

Hey, look, it’s not you. We know it’s not you because we’re pretty sure that’s Ryan Gosling, and you are definitely not Ryan Gosling. If you were Ryan Gosling, you’d likely have more than 74 followers and proudly display a blue-and-white checkmark next to your name. You can’t fool us, Not Ryan Gosling.

Continue reading Top 11: Twitter Avatars and What They Say About You