From baseball players to local media members, seemingly everyone has a beef to work out this week. We set the record straight on every feud you want to hear about, bat signals included.

Plus, a new segment debuts that combines dating apps, DMs, and a special guest narrator. The lines you’re about to hear won’t disappoint.

All that, some general grumpiness, a crippling “injury,” and the current state of your Seattle Mariners on this week’s Karate Emergency!