During Sunday’s game against Atlanta, you may have noticed Cliff Avril going ape shit on the sidelines in the second half of an all-but-secured Seahawks victory. Avril appeared to be passionately berating his teammates for reasons unknown to many, including coach Pete Carroll, who said on Monday that he wasn’t sure why his starting defensive end was so upset.
We may never get to the bottom of the Cliff Avril freak-out, but we can surmise at least 11 reasons why Avril acted the way he did. At the very least, I think we can all relate.
Why was Avril so angry? Well…
11. All those Candy Crush invites on Facebook.
“I don’t want to play Candy Crush, Richard! STOP SENDING ME INVITES! I WILL DE-FRIEND YOU!”
10. Michael Bennett wouldn’t stop singing What Does the Fox Say?
“Michael, for the last time, SHUT THE HELL UP! No one gives a shit about what the fox says! STOP SINGING THAT GODDAMN SONG!”
9. The team was like, “Hey Cliff, do that Dez Bryant impression you’ve been meaning to show us.”
And then Cliff was like, “Alright. Here goes…”
8. The defensive linemen asked Cliff if he wanted to go in on Mariners season tickets with them.
“I DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT LLOYD MCCLENDON! NICK FRANKLIN DOESN’T EXCITE ME!”
7. He was simply responding to the prompts on the Georgia Dome jumbotron to “Make some noise!”
I mean, someone had to do it. And Cliff is good at following directions.
6. No one would give Cliff the new password for the premium porn account the team shares.
“We had an agreement!”
5. Someone was like, “Hey Cliff, do they have your replica jersey in the stadium team shop yet?”
It’s a sensitive subject.
4. The team plays Cards Against Humanity on the sidelines and Cliff was getting shut out.
“You assholes mean to tell me that ‘Black People’ can’t beat out ‘Pixelated Bukkake’ when the answer card reads, ‘In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana struggles with _______ for the first time’? I HATE YOU GUYS!”
3. Someone accidentally spoiled the ending to Back to the Future Part II, which Cliff had not yet seen.
“No, they end up just going farther back into the future. It sets up Part III really nicely.”
“Wait, what? What?! I’M ONLY HALFWAY THROUGH PART ONE, YOU DICK! THIS RUINS EVERYTHING!!!”
“Who only watches a movie halfway…”
“THAT’S BESIDE THE POINT!”
2. Cliff just got the news that $5 footlong month was only for the month of September.
“Why the hell do they advertise $5 footlongs if they only do it sometimes? What’s the point of that? I THOUGHT IT WAS ALL THE TIME!”
1. Cliff just discovered the Comments section on his favorite news site.
“WHAT THE SHIT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!”